"The big news today!
American forces have killed Pavarrati. They finally got him. He was face down
in a bowl of fettucini alfredo. Actually, they killed that Abu Musab
al-Zarqawi, the man who ran the al Qaeda in Iraq. In lieu of flowers, the
Zarqawi family's asking that you send deodorant." --Jimmy Kimmel
"The Air Force
dropped two 500 pound bombs on him and just to be sure, they swooped down and
gave him a nuclear wedgie." --Jimmy Kimmel
"A federal air
marshall has been suspended from his job after appearing on the TV show,
'20/20,' to complain that the government isn't doing enough to protect the
identity of air marshals. He went on TV to complain that the government was not
keeping his identity a secret. Not exactly a Jack Bauer moment." --Jay
Leno
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