But did you die? (not Joe, Jill)

Former white house aid Neera Tanden testified that she was authorized to use the auto pen on behalf of president Biden. When asked why Joe let her do that she replied "not Joe, Jill.” —Kat Timpf 

Director Joseph Kosinski has confirmed there will be a Top Gun 3. In this next installment Maverick will team up with Tom Selleck to get a kick-ass reverse mortgage. —Kat Timpf 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So congratulations to our new Speaker of the House, Top Gun: Maverick (there's a reason why you only get three strikes in baseball)

January 2023

“Yep, as of tonight's taping, it's been three days and nine votes, and we still don't have a Speaker of the House. Before today's vote, C-SPAN was like, ‘We swear this is not a rerun.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Right now, Kevin McCarthy is so embarrassed, he went up to George Santos and said, ‘Help me create a new identity.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“McCarthy has lost nine times. It is brutal. I mean, there's a reason why you only get three strikes in baseball.” —Jimmy Fallon

“And get this -- I read that some Democrats and Republicans are considering a deal for a speaker both parties can get behind. So congratulations to our new Speaker of the House, Top Gun: Maverick.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Right now, people are betting on which we'll get first — the Speaker of the House or "Avatar 3.” —Jimmy Fallon

“That's right -- as of tonight's taping, McCarthy has lost 13 times. They say 13 is unlucky, but 1 to 12 weren't that great, either.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Am I — am I dreaming? And if so, what a boring dream! (Yeah Mary, where do babies come from?)

July 2022

“In a major surprise this week, Senator Joe Manchin III agreed to support a climate, energy and tax package after previously saying that he wouldn’t. The bill is being hailed as a major step in U.S. efforts to combat global warming.  Joe Manchin is fighting climate change? Wait, am I dreaming? I have all my teeth, I’m not a skeleton, you’re all wearing clothes, I’m rich and famous — no, this is real.” —Stephen Colbert

“I can’t believe it! Joe Manchin agreed to vote for a bill? Which means Democrats might actually get something done? Am I — am I dreaming? And if so, what a boring dream!” —Trevor Noah

“People, I am told, are very excited about the bill, including President Biden, who said, ‘This is the action the American people have been waiting for.’ Technically, sir, technically, that was ‘Top Gun: Maverick.’ Cruise — Cruise has still got it.” —Stephen Colbert

“Also, what a week for Joe Biden, huh? First he defeated Covid, then he defeated low expectations. Look at you, Joe, look at you!” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it was the biggest overthrow of all time, but I didn’t do it (Yeah, get Shakira to do a halftime show)

June 2022

“The January 6th committee hearings will be televised beginning Thursday night. Yeah, it doesn’t have to look like ‘Top Gun,’ but just in case, they’re going to have Adam Schiff and Jamie Raskin play hot shirtless volleyball.” —Stephen Colbert

“What they need to do, you want people to watch in America, is you have to spice things up. You know, have a kiss cam going for the witnesses. Yeah, get Shakira to do a halftime show.” —Trevor Noah

“You know who is going to be torn about the coverage of this? Donald Trump. Yeah, ’cuz think about it: On the one hand, he doesn’t want anyone to know what he did on Jan. 6, but on the other hand, you know he would love his hearings to get the highest ratings of all time. You know it. He’s going to be out there like [imitating Trump] ‘Don’t watch the hearings, folks. The fake news is saying I overthrew the government, which I didn’t do. But it was the biggest overthrow of all time, but I didn’t do it.’” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Now if you’ll excuse me, my party’s nominee has a WWE match to fight (Top Gun)

Democrats staged a 26-hour sit-in on the floor of the House to try to force a vote on new gun control legislation. You know the state of our Congress is terrible when you see a bunch of politicians sitting on their [butts] and think to yourself, “Wow, they’re finally doing something!” –Seth Meyers

Yesterday House Speaker Paul Ryan referred to the Democratic-led sit-in for gun control as “nothing more than a publicity stunt.” He then added, “Now if you’ll excuse me, my party’s nominee has a WWE match to fight.” –Seth Meyers

Maserati recently announced a recall for more than 13,000 cars because of a gearshift problem. Coincidentally, a “gearshift problem” is what prompts most men to buy a Maserati in the first place. –Seth Meyers

After the protest began, Paul Ryan declared a recess and cut off C-SPAN's live feed. Now, personally, I don't want to live in a world where Paul Ryan decides what's on TV. I'm guessing it would just be P90X infomercials and "Top Gun" 24 hours a day. –Stephen Colbert

He's so gay Richard Simmons tells him to tone it down

"He’s so gay he calls 'Top Gun' 'that volleyball movie.'" –Jon Stewart, struggling to repress the urge to crack gay jokes about Michele Bachmann's husband,  Marcus Bachmann



"Of course I’d like to say Dr. Marcus Bachmann buys Brawny paper towels for the packaging, or he's so gay Richard Simmons tells him to tone it down.'" –Jerry Seinfeld, playing Jon Stewart's Comedy Repression Therapist during a cameo on The Daily Show



John Hulse painting