at the Taj Mahal you're only supposed to take your shoes off (Richard Simmons hole punch. It'll penetrate anything)

Christina Aguilera says she's searching for inspiration. She’s India right now now. She has run into a few problems because at the Taj Mahal you're only supposed to take your shoes off. --Conan O’Brien 12/2/2004

They have online auctions of celebrity memorabilia sometimes. At an online auction a a stapler signed by Paris Hilton is going for more than $1,000. Not selling so well, the Richard Simmons hole punch. It'll penetrate anything. --Conan O’Brien 12/2/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Brazil said they will spend 2005 getting their launching area waxed (Richard Simmons ended his hunger strike)

Interesting news. The state of Oregon is considering a bill that would make it legal to possess a pound of marijuana. In a related story Snoop Dogg has enrolled in the Oregon School of Nursing. --Conan O’Brien 7/7/2004

The country of Brazil announced that it will launch a rocket into space by 2006. Brazil said they will spend 2005 getting their launching area waxed. --Conan O’Brien 7/7/2004

This week the producers of Girls Gone Wild announced that they are coming out with a male version of the videos called Guys Gone Wild. Upon hearing the news Richard Simmons ended his hunger strike. --Conan O’Brien 7/7/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He's so gay Richard Simmons tells him to tone it down

"He’s so gay he calls 'Top Gun' 'that volleyball movie.'" –Jon Stewart, struggling to repress the urge to crack gay jokes about Michele Bachmann's husband,  Marcus Bachmann



"Of course I’d like to say Dr. Marcus Bachmann buys Brawny paper towels for the packaging, or he's so gay Richard Simmons tells him to tone it down.'" –Jerry Seinfeld, playing Jon Stewart's Comedy Repression Therapist during a cameo on The Daily Show



John Hulse painting