a 90 year old cyclist in Indiana (Trump’s basically unemployed)

Donald Trump is refusing to reopen the government until he gets at least  $5 Billion for his border wall. Yeah, I think we remember his campaign promise, where he said, “We’re going to build a wall, and we’re going to make a bunch of government employees pay for it.” That’s right, isn’t it? --James Corden

Yesterday President Trump was asked about all the unpaid federal workers who were struggling to pay their bills. And Trump responded saying that he can quote “relate.” I mean no one is more relatable than Donald Trump, right? He’s a regular, working class, family man. To be fair though, maybe he can relate. Trump’s filed for bankruptcy six times. Right? He’s actually built his entire career on not being able to pay bills. And he does just spend his days sitting on a couch, watching tv and tweeting. Trump’s basically unemployed. --James Corden

And finally, a 90 year old cyclist in Indiana, who still actively participates in bike races, will be stripped of a championship title after he recently failed a drug test. Yeah, he was found to have performance-enhancing drugs in his system. He’s now facing a lifetime ban, so it could be six to eight months. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

A spokesperson for the company said we think Jews need one more reason not to buy a VW (they're still eligible for baseball's all-star game)

According to the New York Times every single horse in the Kentucky Derby is using a performance-enhancing drug. So even if the horses don't win they're still eligible for baseball's all-star game. --Conan O’Brien 4/28/2004

Volkswagen announced this week that it's trying to sell 10% of its ownership to an arab government. A spokesperson for the company said we think Jews need one more reason not to buy a VW. --Conan O’Brien 4/28/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the Russians set a new speed record for skiing UP the mountain (And, this is nice...)

Russia has been banned from the upcoming Winter Olympics for the use of performance-enhancing drugs. And, this is nice — Russia was also banned from participating in the next presidential election. –James Corden

Olympic officials first got suspicious that Russians were using performance-enhancing drugs when the Russians set a new speed record for skiing UP the mountain. –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

These are the same drugs Santa uses to make his reindeer fly (ethical conflicts)

This is the Dodgers’ first World Series in almost 30 years. Since 1988. It is a tough ticket to come by. The average ticket price for Game 1 was about $1,300. To put that in perspective, right now a ticket to the World Series is worth more than the Weinstein Company. –Jimmy Kimmel

There is a major scandal in the world of the Iditarod. It turns out some of the dogs in the race are on drugs. Dogs belonging to the four-time musher tested positive for a banned substance. Officials became suspicious when one of the dogs stood on its hind legs and lifted the sled over its head in celebration. These are powerful drugs. Opioids. These are the same drugs Santa uses to make his reindeer fly. –Jimmy Kimmel

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

LeBron will get the entire NBA playoff season off (performance-enhancing ramen)

There’s talk of including video gamers in future Olympics. Olympic gamers would be treated like all other athletes, except they’d be tested for "performance-enhancing ramen." –Conan O’Brien

There’s a rumor that the Lakers are trying to sign LeBron James. They’re telling him, "The weather in L.A. is great, plus as a Laker, you get the entire playoff season off." –Conan O’Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

And trust me, no one's watched more gladiator movies than I have (white space waiting)

"Senator Larry Craig was interviewed by Matt Lauer this week, and Craig said that he's a victim of gladiator politics. Then Craig said, 'And trust me, no one's watched more gladiator movies than I have." --Conan O'Brien

"The Dalai Lama is here in the United States. This morning, he was awarded the Congressional Gold Medal for his contributions to peace, nonviolence, human rights and religious understanding. Unfortunately, just a few short hours after the ceremony, the Lama was stripped of his medal after testing positive for performance enhancing drugs." --Jimmy Kimmel

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans