But if you see Bill O’Reilly, maybe just go with a fist bump (bajillion)

President Trump said today that his infrastructure plan could cost more than the projected $1 trillion. Said Trump, “I don’t want to alarm anyone, but it could go as high as a bajillion.” –Seth Meyers

The Trump administration recently hired a man whose name turned up on a list of accounts released in the 2015 hack of the cheating website Ashley Madison. Even crazier, that’s all it said on his resume. –Seth Meyers

Today was National Hug a Newsperson Day. But if you see Bill O’Reilly, maybe just go with a fist bump. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JusticeDemocrats #Bernie2020

Not GR-R-REAT!

A Canadian pharmacy had to apologize this weekend after accidentally handing out bipolar medication on Halloween instead of candy. The victims say they’re sad that it happened, but happy that it happened. –Seth Meyers

An Ashley Madison user is suing the adultery website for falsely advertising a higher number of female users than it truly had. And if you can’t trust a website that helps you secretly cheat on your spouse, who can you trust? –Seth Meyers

A drunk woman in Nebraska had to be hospitalized this weekend after she broke into a zoo because she wanted to pet a tiger and wound up being bitten by the animal. When asked how she’s doing, the woman said, “Not GR-R-REAT!” –Seth Meyers

Strategic, Honorable, and Interesting Tactics.

Because the FEC does not let candidate names appear in the title of a Super PAC, Carly Fiorina’s organization has started claiming its name CARLY for America is an acronym that stands for Conservative, Authentic, Responsive Leadership for You and for America. And I think that shows her campaign is full of Strategic, Honorable, and Interesting Tactics. –Seth Meyers

Lawyers for Guantanamo Bay prisoner Muhammad Rahim al-Afghani have revealed that he used to have an Ashley Madison account. He was already gittin’ some but he wanted to Gitmo. –Seth Meyers

whiskey, beer, trucks, and divorce

The nominees for this year’s CMAs were announced yesterday. And they include country music superstars like Kenny Chesney, Luke Bryan, Garth Brooks, whiskey, beer, trucks, and divorce. –Jimmy Fallon

The Patriots have been at the center of all sorts of cheating allegations. If these reports we've seen over the last couple of days are accurate, the Patriots cheated more than everyone on Ashley Madison combined. –Jimmy Kimmel

Infidelity has finally entered the world of sports

Today is a special day. Today is women's equality day. Donald Trump calls it, that time of the year again. –Conan O’Brien

At a press conference yesterday, Donald Trump kicked out a Latino reporter but the man returned a few minutes later. Yeah, so already Trump's deportation plan isn't working. –Conan O’Brien

Right now in the U.S. the most popular name for baby girls is Emma. The least popular names are Ashley and Madison. –Conan O’Brien

It has come out that 100 ESPN employees were on the adultery website Ashley Madison. In other words, infidelity has finally entered the world of sports. –Conan O’Brien

Which is kind of like Jared Fogle telling you you’re creepy

Josh Duggar was outed for signing up on Ashley Madison using the screen name "Josh the man" to meet women for sex. He released a statement today apologizing for cheating on his wife while serving as executive director of the Family Research Council. I guess that's not the sort of family research they had in mind for him. –Jimmy Kimmel

Donald Trump said last night that Jeb Bush is “totally out of touch on women’s health issues.” Which is kind of like Jared Fogle telling you you’re creepy. –Seth Meyers

CNN's newest polls show that Donald Trump is leading Hillary Clinton in Florida. It’s scary, because if that could happen in Florida, it could also happen in the United States. –Seth Meyers