"Experts
believe that now that Fidel has resigned, he will either be succeeded by his
brother, Raul, or by his idiot son, Fidel W. Castro." --David Letterman
"This
morning, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro announced that he is stepping down, ending
five decades of rule. But the biggest surprise was when Castro announced that he's
going to retire in Miami." --Conan O'Brien
"Did
you notice, President
Bush is in Africa this week? And yesterday, true story, he visited a
school and read to the students from "The Cat in the Hat." Yeah.
There was an awkward moment when one of the students told Bush, 'Sir, this is a
college.'" --Conan O'Brien
"The
founders of Ben & Jerry's ice cream are endorsing Barack Obama instead of Hillary
Clinton, which makes sense because Baracky Road is a catchier name
for an ice cream than Pantsuits and Cream." --Conan O'Brien
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