A 16-year-old boy
in Bosnia broke a world record this week by smashing 111 concrete blocks with
his head in 34 seconds. Get an Xbox! Get an Xbox — you don’t have to do that.
When asked how it felt to break the world record, the boy said, “Lampshade
tricycle is my favorite flavor of pizza truck.” –James Corden
President Trump
told senators yesterday that they would make a deal on healthcare because
“that’s such an easy one.” OK, well, just make sure your healthcare plan covers
amnesia. –Seth Meyers
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