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Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Barack Obama has been offered a starring role in Big Momma's House 3 (20 more years in Newark)


"This is a big scandal. Yesterday, someone released a photo of Barack Obama wearing a traditional African dress. Yeah, as a result, Barack has been offered a starring role in 'Big Momma's House 3.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Former Newark, New Jersey, Mayor Sharpe James arrived in court today for the first of two federal corruption trials. If found guilty, Sharpe James could get ten years in prison or 20 more years in Newark." --Conan O'Brien

"Bill Clinton -- you have to believe he's loving these. One night a week, he's not the one she's bitching at. It got a little bit contentious tonight, a lot of controversy still about the photo somebody released of Obama wearing a turban. You know, they originally said Clinton's camp did it, and they said we didn't do it. If I was Barack Obama, I would have worn the turban to the debate tonight. That's why I'm not running for president." --Jimmy Kimmel





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