"And
speaking of that, President
Bush said today that he is very concerned about the acceleration of
hostilities in the former Yugoslavia. See, again, I don't think President Bush
is really familiar with this region of the world. Like, he said today that
violence in Serbia could spread to Suburbia and claim the lives of millions of
Suburbanites." --Jay Leno
"British
scientists are now conducting new tests on the Shroud of Turin. They're trying
to pinpoint exactly how old it is. They say if these tests are successful, one
day they might be able too determine the exact age of John McCain." --Jay
Leno
"Tonight
in Cleveland, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are debating one another for the
20th time. Yeah, experts are calling it redundant, unnecessary, and the most
exciting thing that ever happened in Cleveland." --Conan O'Brien
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