Big deal, I have a selfie with Jesus.

There were no injuries this weekend after a giant sinkhole opened up in an IHOP parking lot in Mississippi and swallowed up more than a dozen cars. And that hole still ate less than most of the people in the IHOP. –Jimmy Fallon

In Mississippi this weekend, a sinkhole swallowed 12 cars in an IHOP parking lot. It’s being called "the smallest thing ever swallowed at a Mississippi IHOP." –Conan O’Brien

SeaWorld is phasing out its killer whale show. Or as Fox News reported it, "More killers set free under Obama." –Conan O’Brien

Ben Carson apparently has a painting of himself with Jesus. When he heard this, Larry King said, "Big deal, I have a selfie with Jesus." –Conan O’Brien

Some Evangelical Christians claim that because this year’s Starbucks holiday cup doesn't have any Christmas symbols, Starbucks hates Jesus. In response, a spokesman for Starbucks said, "We like anyone who can turn water into something we can charge $7 a cup for." –Conan O’Brien