Monday, November 16, 2015


Tomorrow night is the second Democratic debate! It's the perfect way to spend a Saturday night if you're single. And it's raining. And every movie theater is closed. And you only get one channel. –Jimmy Fallon
This time, the debate will feature just three candidates: Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Martin O'Malley. Or as viewers call them, “Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Bathroom Break.” –Jimmy Fallon
Bernie Sanders got an endorsement from the American Postal Workers Union. Well, Bernie Sanders' neighbor got the endorsement, but it was meant for Bernie. He’ll get it eventually. –Jimmy Fallon

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