"Scientists now
believe that they may be able to teach birds grammar. And if they succeed
teaching grammar to the birds, they're going to try the same thing with President
Bush." --David Letterman
"In a recent
interview, Hillary Clinton said in her spare time what she likes to do is
download iTunes. And, of course, we all know in his spare time, Bill likes to
download interns." --David Letterman
"Anybody go to the
Madonna show here in L.A. last night? It was the opening of her 'Confessions'
world tour. During the concert, she condemned President Bush, she pretended to
be nailed to a cross, she spoke out about third world poverty, she dry humped a
bunch of guys in leather pants. Doesn't matter how old she is, she never tones
it down. I tell you what, it takes a lot of courage to go after President Bush
in front of an audience almost made entirely of gay Hollywood men."
--Jimmy Kimmel
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