It's called Long Fat **** (Or as Bill Clinton called him...)

"Good news from the White House. President Bush last week had his annual physical and he passed. He passed his annual physical. No word yet on the mental." --David Letterman 

"This Taepo-Dong could be horrific. Millions could die from this Dong. A veritable Dong-ocaust. By creating lethal weapons with very silly names, they're making their growing military might seem hilariously innocuous. And you know our president -- you mention Taepo Dong at a national security briefing, and he's taking a two-hour ride on the giggle train. It's not just the Taepo-Dong. Did you know Kim's working on neutron explosive that burns you from the inside out, leaving you a charred husk of flesh? It's called Long Fat ****. Worst of all, when it blows up, it spreads a deadly biochemical cream of sum yung guy" --Daily Show correspondent Rob Corddry

  

"According to a series of just published letters that Albert Einstein sent to his second wife, he had ten mistresses. He would send his wife letters about his mistresses and then ask her for advice. Or as Bill Clinton called him, 'a trailblazer, a pioneer.'" --Jay Leno

"President Bush on Tuesday reluctantly released portions of the classified report that stated the war in Iraq is adding to the terrorist threat throughout the world. Though suspiciously in some portions of the report, someone had crossed out Iraq and written in, 'Gay dudes'." --Amy Poehler of Saturday Night Live