"The former Governor
of New Jersey has written a book in which he said he had a lot of anonymous gay
sex with a lot of different men. I'm sorry, that's the book Ken Lay's going to
write in a few years." --Jay Leno
"Former Enron
executives Ken Lay and Jeffrey Skilling were found guilty of bankrupting the
company and its employees. Both are facing over 100 years in prison. This makes
them the only two Enron employees who don't have to worry about paying for
retirement. During the trial, Ken Lay repeatedly told reporters that the case
was 'in the hands of God.' Yea, and soon, his ass will be in the hands of
someone named 'Jesus.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Has anybody seen the
Al Gore movie about global warming and the environment? Well, the Bush
administration has seen it and they are very annoyed about the whole thing. As
a matter of fact, earlier today, Dick Cheney shot a projectionist. One very
dramatic scene in the Al Gore global warming movie is when a glacier melts and
they find more Al Gore ballots from the election." --David Letterman
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