There’s a picture of a horse on the bottle, it’s fine! (That’s why I blink as often as a sphinx)

August 2021

“I gotta say, when I first heard that Fox News was pushing Ivermectin, I knew it was gonna be bad, but I was not expecting it to be horse dewormer. It sounds like the name of a drug they give supersoldiers in a Paul Verhoeven movie to turn them into Robocops.” —Seth Meyers

“You know someone at the company that made Ivermectin once said, ‘Hey, should we put “not for people” on the horse pill labels?’ and someone else said, ‘There’s a picture of a horse on the bottle, it’s fine!’” —Seth Meyers

“First, it was hydroxychloroquine, then it was bleach, powerful lights, now it’s horse dewormer? I’m honestly terrified to imagine what’s next. One day, we’re gonna wake up and Brian Kilmeade’s gonna be telling people you can cure Covid by eating kibble and sleeping in a bed of kitty litter: [imitating Kilmeade] ‘Works for me. That’s why I blink as often as a sphinx.’” —Seth Meyers

“You know who the real victims are here? The horses who can’t get their worm pills.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yo, I’m gonna sneak out the back, don’t tell anybody I was here (trying to unload all that hydroxychloroquine)

March 2021

“I don’t know why Trump isn’t promoting the vaccine. I mean, maybe he doesn’t want to help Joe Biden end the pandemic. You know, maybe he’s still trying to unload all that hydroxychloroquine that he bought last summer.” —Trevor Noah

“And I can’t say that I’m surprised that Trump isn’t making an effort to get people vaccinated. I mean, the man barely did his job when he had his job; you think he’s going to start working now? For free?” —Trevor Noah

“Even though Trump is not interested in promoting the vaccine, he’s very interested in getting credit for it; last week, the former president’s team released an official statement in which he used a racist anti-Asian term to describe the virus and demanded people ‘remember’ who was responsible for the vaccine. Look, I get where Trump is coming from – the vaccines were a scientific miracle developed in record time on his watch. You cannot deny that. But that’s what makes it so weird that he’s not out there promoting the vaccine. Like when Tom Brady won the Super Bowl, he went and held the trophy and celebrated with his team. He wasn’t like, ‘Yo, I’m gonna sneak out the back, don’t tell anybody I was here.’” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

A third of Americans are now half of Americans (Pine-sol now comes in prescription strength)

People are going outside again. Americans, they want to do the right thing but if someone taps a keg and cranks up the Lynyrd Skynyrd all bets are off. —Bill Maher

But you can't blame people for wanting to get out there. The Census Bureau is now reporting that a third of Americans are showing signs of anxiety and clinical depression and they've gained weight. A third of Americans are now half of Americans. —Bill Maher

Our governor says we’ll know in a week if we can reopen our gyms and I hope that this is the case. Because Californians, we miss our gyms. Not to work out so much the staring at yourself in the mirror part. —Bill Maher

Donald Trump has said he has quit taking hydroxychloroquine. But there’s no word on whether he’s going to give up the idea to imbibe household disinfectants. I tell you something, his fans haven’t. Pine-sol now comes in prescription strength. —Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

it would be the biggest breakup since, I don’t know, Elon Musk and reality? (It was a personal best in being just the worst)

“This is so surreal — Fox News condemning Donald Trump. I mean, this is like doing something so bad that your own dog takes off its collar and just walks away in disgust.” —Trevor Noah

“And if Trump actually goes through with this threat and stops watching Fox, it would be the biggest breakup since, I don’t know, Elon Musk and reality?” —Trevor Noah

“Even other idiots are going, ‘Don’t be an idiot.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Trump’s claim that he is taking hydroxychloroquine alarmed several public health officials, as well as the speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, who told CNN’s Anderson Cooper she was concerned the president would take an unrecommended, potentially dangerous drug ‘especially in his age group and in his, shall we say, weight group – what is morbidly obese, they say’. Oh, that is a very polite way to say a mean thing. (Colbert imitating Pelosi) ‘I’m concerned about the president because he is, shall we say, 20 pounds of pudding in a 10 pound sack. What I’m saying is, your president is so fat that when he sits around the White House, he – shall I put this diplomatically? – sits around the White House, which is a very, very large building indeed.’” —Stephen Colbert

“Asked about Pelosi’s comments by a reporter, Trump retorted: ‘I don’t respond to her, I think she’s a waste of time.’ Trump should know, as he is the world’s leading authority on wasting time. This one time, there was this huge, deadly global pandemic and he didn’t do anything about it for like two months! It was a personal best in being just the worst.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Large, hivelike swelling on the face, eyelids, lips, tongue, throat, hands, legs, feet, and sex organs (Let’s say check)

“I looked up the side effects of this miracle drug hydroxychloroquine Trump is now taking. They include: ‘severe mood or mental changes.’ Check. ‘Feeling that others can hear your thoughts.’ Check. ‘Feeling, seeing or hearing things that are not there.’ Check. ‘Large, hivelike swelling on the face, eyelids, lips, tongue, throat, hands, legs, feet, and sex organs.’ Let’s say check.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“And the side effects can potentially include agitation, insomnia, confusion, mania, hallucinations, paranoia, as well as lasting psychiatric and neurological symptoms, so either Trump’s lying about taking it, or he’s been taking it for 73 years.” —Seth Meyers

“Last night, Neil Cavuto of Fox News had the temerity to warn his viewers that this miracle drug is not recommended. Trump saw that and wrote, ‘@FoxNews is no longer the same. We miss the great Roger Ailes. You have more anti-Trump people, by far, than ever before. Looking for a new outlet!’ ‘The great Roger Ailes,’ by the way, is a man who was accused of sexually harassing at least 20 women who work for him before being forced out of Fox News and dropping dead.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“A new outlet where? No outlet praises you more. That’s like Meryl Streep complaining about how the Oscars treat her.” —Seth Meyers

“Ah, yes, the great Roger Ailes, the famous creep who oversaw a culture of paranoia and sexual harassment at Fox News that led to him getting fired by liberal snowflake, let’s see, Rupert Murdoch.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

If it’s good enough for the first lady, it’s good enough for me (Mr. President, what’s in your mouth?)

“Yesterday, Donald Trump announced that he’s taking hydroxychloroquine, the antimalarial drug, despite doctor’s saying that there is no proof that it works against the coronavirus. When told the drug is for treating malaria, Trump said, ‘If it’s good enough for the first lady, it’s good enough for me.” —Jimmy Fallon

“After Trump made the announcement, a lot of experts told him what he was doing is dangerous. Then Trump was like, ‘Relax, if anything goes wrong, I can just drink bleach and clean it all out. I’m good.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“I feel so bad for this guy’s Secret Service, because you have to admit they have had more on their plate with Trump than with any other president ever before. Can you imagine a day in the Secret Service’s life? ‘Keeping my eyes peeled, making sure there’s no threats. Everything looks clear. We’re all good — Mr. President, what did you eat? What is that in your mouth? Mr. President, what’s in your mouth?’” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I hope I’m not surprising anyone when I say: Mr President, don’t take it (New England Journal of I heard it from a guy)

“Just when you think things can’t get any weirder, Trump cranks it up to 11 and then swallows the knob. When questioned at an event earlier in the day Trump said he has been taking hydroxychloroquine. The anti-malarial drug is not proven to treat coronavirus and has serious, potentially lethal side-effects, though that hasn’t stopped the president from touting the drug publicly, which prompted a whistleblower complaint last week from former health and human services official Dr Rick Bright. 

When asked on Monday about what research he has that hydroxychloroquine is a preventative wonder drug, Trump cited the New England Journal of I heard it from a guy. Or, to quote the president: ‘Here’s my evidence: I get a lot of positive calls about it.’ For the sake of his children, I hope he’s not getting a lot of positive calls about Clorox. It was such a shocking statement that even Fox News had to clap back, with host Neil Cavuto telling viewers: ‘It will kill you. I cannot stress enough: this will kill you.’ I’m not a doctor, but the newsman says it’s deadly so I hope I’m not surprising anyone when I say: Mr President, don’t take it.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Oh, wait. Never mind, they got it covered (is this a warning or a suggestion?)

“Because of the way Trump is handling the pandemic his approval ratings have suffered. Wow, that is shocking. I mean, how could you not trust the guy who said heat would kill the coronavirus, that cases would go down to zero, that it will go away in April, that a vaccine would come out soon, that hydroxychloroquine could be a gift from heaven, and that it could be cured by eating Lysol wipes out of a salad bowl with a fork and a knife?” —Seth Meyers

“A leaked White House coronavirus task force report shows infections spiking more than one thousand percent in some rural areas. In this vital statistic, the United States is even worse than Iran. Forcing Iran to change their protest signs to ‘Death to America! Oh, wait. Never mind, they got it covered.’” —Stephen Colbert

“I mean, even the munchkins didn’t come out of hiding until the witch was pronounced dead.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”