Yes, I don't (What Would Jesus Do)

We have got Kevin Bacon on the show tonight! Alexis Bledel is here. She is in "The Handmaid's Tale" with Elisabeth Moss, who was in "Girl Interrupted" with Winona Ryder, who was in "Reality Bites" with Ben Stiller, who was in "Zoolander" with Will Ferrell, who was in "Stepbrothers" with John C. Reilly, who was in "The River Wild" with … Kevin Bacon! --Jimmy Fallon

Former FBI Director James Comey was interviewed on ABC last night, and he said that Trump often changes his story and contradicts himself. In response, Trump said, "Yes, I don't." --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

millions of us laughed our asses off on election night (the really really ridiculous party)

Meanwhile President Trump took away Joe Biden's security clearance. That means Joe no longer has access to the Daily Briefs. Which is too bad since those were the only briefs not covered in sh*t. —Greg Gutfeld

After saying his attacks on Tesla were just a joke, Tim Walz said that Republicans have no sense of humor. I don't know Tim, millions of us laughed our asses off on Election Night. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You have to vote for the really really really ridiculously bad party (the honor system)

"In his speech, President Bush outlined a plan to start patrolling the U.S.-Mexican border using members of the National Guard. He said this will give us the most secure border in the world one weekend a month and two full weeks in the summer. This will replace our old method of border control: the honor system." --Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney says he's never paid less than 13% in taxes, which I think is fair because only 13% of his money is in this country." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

They have a similar result, but there’s a vas deferens (six of which Ozzy remembers)

This weekend, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne said that they're getting a divorce. Ozzy announced the separation by biting the head off their lawyer. It's sad news. They were married for 33 years, six of which Ozzy remembers. –Stephen Colbert

“According to one urologist, before the Supreme Court’s ruling he received four or five vasectomy requests a day. But since the decision, that number has spiked to 12 to 18. Makes sense. The most effective forms of birth control for men are abstinence and vasectomies. They have a similar result, but there’s a vas deferens.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s like finding out your dog collects stamps (It’s OK, I took my ring off first)

September 2022

“What happened this summer? Women lost the right to choose, monkeypox spread and Batgirl was cancelled. I’ll never go away again, I promise.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Speaking of going away, Donald Trump is in serious legal trouble. I’ve been trying to understand how he could possibly think he had the right to take all those documents to his house. It’s weird that a person who barely reads would even want documents. It’s like finding out your dog collects stamps.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Trump keeps claiming he declassified the documents, which first of all, he didn’t. Second of all, even if he had, which he didn’t, that’s even more crazy. That’s like finding your wife in bed with another guy and she’s like, ‘It’s OK, I took my ring off first.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“In other news, Russia announced a new travel ban for life to 25 Americans, including the secretary of commerce, six US senators and the actor Ben Stiller. Funny, every Russian we sanction is some sweaty evil oligarch who dumps poison in the ocean or something. Russia turns around and bans Zoolander.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”