...And the the people said (accidentally eaten Yoda)

A seven-year-old boy somehow drove his little sister nine miles to a McDonald's in his mom's SUV. Authorities say it could have been far worse if the mom had been driving. —Greg Gutfeld

To celebrate Star Wars Day JB Pritzker tweeted out a picture of himself in a Jedi costume. Whoa. Even Jabba the Hut was like "Wow this dude's fat." True, the picture caused many to wonder if Pritzker had accidentally eaten Yoda. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Joe Biden’s 60th birthday is now old enough to drink (Yeah … that isn’t helping at all)

Every time Joe Biden has a birthday, it feels like a political misstep. It’s like why would you do that! You’re old enough! Given that age is a significant concern among voters, Biden’s advisers were reportedly torn on whether he should ignore the birthday or make jokes about it, and to be honest I’m still not sure which option they chos. At the White House’s annual turkey pardon on Monday, Biden joked he was too young to make it to the first event 76 years ago. Yeah … that isn’t helping at all. —Jimmy Kimmel

At a Donald Trump rally in Iowa over the weekend, representative Mike Sexton opened by citing one of his “great heroes”, the Star Wars character Yoda, then used a Yoda voice to claim the “dark side” was present in Biden. Ah, the stupid is strong with this one, isn’t it? I bet that kills at the 4H club, though. Doesn’t Yoda live in that swamp they all promised to drain? —Jimmy Kimmel

Joe Biden’s 60th birthday is now old enough to drink. —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Unfortunately, the inventor cannot for the life of him remember how he made it (General Mad Dog Yoda)

"According to a new study, most men would like women to occasionally pick up the check. The study also found most women would occasionally like to be paid as much as men for doing the same job." –Conan O'Brien

There's a new beer coming out that contains marijuana. Unfortunately, the inventor cannot for the life of him remember how he made it. –Conan O’Brien

In his speech on Afghanistan, President Trump said, "Attack we will." Then Trump introduced his new military strategist: General Mad Dog Yoda. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Say hello to my little friend (but eventually snow goes away)

February 2014

"It was 15 degrees cooler in Atlanta when they had the Summer Olympics than it is in Sochi where they had the Winter Olympics. It got up to 60 degrees today. It was so warm some of the people staying in the hotels thought the heat started working. But it turns out it was just the sun." –Jimmy Kimmel 

"Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That’s my job!' But you know, there is a big difference between Ted Cruz and snow. Both are white and everyone’s sick of them – but eventually snow goes away." –Bill Maher

"In Sochi, a man who criticized the Sochi games was sentenced to three years in a prison colony. After hearing the sentence, the man said it's still better than a hotel in Sochi." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Calm down, it wasn't strip poker (Top Ten John McCain Excuses)

September 2013

David Letterman's "Top Ten John McCain Excuses" 

(after he got caught playing poker on his iPhone during 

a Senate hearing on Syria)

10. "Leave me alone -- I'm a hundred years old"

9. "Can't gamble in casinos since getting caught counting cards"

8. "Relax, it's just a war hearing"

7. "Is Reagan upset?"

6. "I was on the phone with IBM headquarters in Dallas"

5. "Still able to pay attention to hearings on Iraq or Iran or whatever"

4. "At least it wasn't some sissy game like 'Bejeweled'"

3. "Someone has to win back our $17 trillion"

2. "Better idea than Palin"

1. "Calm down, it wasn't strip poker"

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Consider it my going away present (E.T., Yoda, then Groot)

Earlier today, Vice President Mike Pence gave a speech at the Pentagon about creating Trump’s Space Force. Pence began the speech by saying, “I can’t believe I have to do this.” --Jimmy Fallon

Actually, Pence said the military will start forming the U.S. Space Force by the end of 2018. Then Trump was like, “Consider it my going away present.” --Jimmy Fallon

We finally learned about the Space Force chain of command. According to Trump, it’ll go, “E.T., Yoda, then Groot.” --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

That's right son. This is where a Confederate general used to be (Mad Dog Yoda)

Before announcing his decision on Afghanistan, President Trump was said to have made a 'rigorous' review of the issue. Yes, Trump said, "I must have read at least four tweets about it!" –Conan O’Brien

In his speech on Afghanistan, President Trump said, "Attack we will." Then Trump introduced his new military strategist: General Mad Dog Yoda. –Conan O’Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans