Not intoxicating like wine, but more like cocktails with Bill Cosby (Discretionary Spending)

This is interesting. Michael Cohen said that back in 2013 there was an art auction at which the president directed him to use money from the Trump Foundation, their charity, to secretly pay a bidder at the art auction to make sure his portrait got the highest price of any painting at the auction. And then, after he secretly bought his own portrait with money from the charity, he tweeted: “Just found out that at a charity auction of celebrity portraits in East Hampton, my portrait by artist William Quigley topped list at $60K.” Yeah, because you paid the $60K. He lies for no reason. Who cares? --Jimmy Kimmel

During his testimony before congress Michael Cohen called Trump a racist, a conman and a cheat. But Cohen said he worked with him because he said it was intoxicating. Not intoxicating like wine, but more like cocktails with Bill Cosby. --Jimmy Kimmel

Not only did Trump ask Cohen to cover up his bad deeds, but also his bad grades. Michael Cohen, “I'm talking about a man who declares himself brilliant, but directed me to threaten his high school, his colleges and the college board to never release his grades or S.A.T. scores.” Don’t anyone panic, but he’s talking about the guy negotiating a nuclear arms agreement right now. --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It went to a farm upstate to live with all the other walls (Feliz Navidad)

Wow, man. They're talking about the wall like they just lost a pet. Trump's gonna have to have a special chat with the Fox & Friends. "Mr. Trump, where'd the wall go?" "It went to a farm upstate to live with all the other walls." --Seth Meyers

I saw that Google has a Santa Tracker, where you can watch Santa's journey around the world. Yeah, not to be outdone, Facebook has a tracker where you can steal Santa's Social Security number. --Jimmy Fallon

I saw that tomorrow, President Trump leaves for a 16-day trip to Mar-A-Lago, where he'll have his annual Christmas party. And just to mess with him, the only song the deejay will play is "Feliz Navidad." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

There's a reason "They" don't want him as president (The Village People song)

Donald Trump is currently dealing with a truly stunning number of criminal probes. Just to name a few, his White House is being investigated by the special counsel, his inaugural committee is being investigated for allegedly misspending donations, and his business is being investigated for hiding hush payments to cover up affairs. Not even Trump's doctor has ever examined him this closely. --Seth Meyers

Then yesterday, the President was dealt another blow when his personal charity, the Trump Foundation, was forced to shut down after prosecutors effectively said it acted as a slush fund for Trump's personal spending. So Trump used his charity to pay for lawsuits, which then prompted a lawsuit that ended the charity. At this point, he's going to have to start new charity to pay for the lawsuit over the old charity. They can call it, I don't know, March of Crimes. --Seth Meyers

And now Trump and his aides are trying to claim that the administration already has the money for the wall, thanks to Trump's renegotiated NAFTA deal called the U.S.-Mexico-Canada Agreement, or USMCA. And Trump says a good way to remember it is to think of The Village People song “YMCA.” Don't let Mike Pence hear you singing a Village People song. He will attach a car battery to your nads and read to you from Leviticus. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Trump still makes time for his lifelong passion, driving organizations into the ground (Chanel 420)

Donald Trump’s charitable foundation has agreed to dissolve today, amid an ongoing lawsuit about its finances. The lawsuit states that Trump illegally used the charity for his own personal and political benefit. I just think it’s beautiful that even though he’s busy with the presidency, Trump still makes time for his lifelong passion, driving organizations into the ground. --James Corden

I can tell they are frustrated over at UPS. UPS delivers all the presents and Santa gets all the credit. That’s Bull****! --James Corden

Perfume manufacturers are jumping on the marijuana bandwagon. For instance, take a look at this, Chanel 420. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I kind of feel like if you saw the words "Donald Trump charity" and gave money, you deserve whatever you get (melted crayons and marmalade)

The president didn't get a subpoena today, at least not from Robert Mueller. He did get a fresh new lawsuit filed against him. The New York attorney general filed suit against Donald Trump, Eric Trump, Ivanka Trump, and Donald Trump Jr. for persistently illegal conduct by the Trump Foundation, their charity organization. The suit alleges that the Trumps misused their nonprofit to pay business debts and campaign expenses, which is not allowed. The attorney general says Trump's kids were collecting money despite doing no discernible work for it — which, in fairness to them, that's what they do, that's their job. They collect money in exchange for being born. --Jimmy Kimmel

The board of directors for the charity hadn't even met in 19 years. Trump himself hadn't made a contribution to his own foundation, the Trump Foundation, in 10 years. Most foundations of this type are supported almost entirely by the person they're named after. It's important to remember, though, this foundation isn't the foundation he puts on his face every morning. That is made of melted crayons and marmalade. This is a different thing. --Jimmy Kimmel

Of course Trump is denying the charges. I guess we'll see. I don't know — I kind of feel like if you saw the words "Donald Trump charity" and gave money, you deserve whatever you get. --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Experts expect a record number of people not to watch it (funnel it through Trump)

Donald Trump’s charity, the Trump Foundation, is no longer allowed to accept donations in New York. This is really bad news for anyone who thought, "I’d like to make sure my money gets to the people who really need it; I know, I’ll funnel it through Donald Trump." –Conan O’Brien

Supporters of Donald Trump are saying the fact that he lost a billion dollars and then didn’t pay income taxes for 18 years means he is a "genius." They also say three marriages makes him a "feminist," so it kind of works out. –Conan O’Brien

Tomorrow night is the vice-presidential debate between Mike Pence and Tim Kaine. Experts expect a record number of people not to watch it. –Conan O’Brien