Morale would shoot up, and we'd have the cleanest troops in the world (they should change their name to B of A-hole)

October 2011

"We found out why Sarah Palin won't run for president. She heard the job lasts four years." –Jay Leno 

"I say let all the troops shower together: straight men, gay men, women, everybody. Morale would shoot up, and we'd have the cleanest troops in the world." –Jay Leno

"Because of Columbus Day all the banks were closed. And some of them are expected to open tomorrow. Even though Bank of America was closed, they still charged you the $5 debit fee. Who thinks they should change their name to B of A-hole?" –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Knicks need $4 Million to bribe their fans to act like they don’t see what’s going on (disappeared faster than Rudy Giuliani in direct sunlight)

“The government’s paycheck protection program (PPP), which set aside $342 Billion to help small businesses through the pandemic shutdown. A couple weeks ago, before most businesses could receive help, that money disappeared faster than Rudy Giuliani in direct sunlight. —Trevor Noah

“Congress returned with a second round of $310 Billion, but still, the money did not get to the businesses, as the Small Business Administration website portal for loan applications crashed almost immediately after launch on Monday. But it’s not just computer issues: it turns out that the reason small businesses haven’t been able to get their money, is because the big businesses have been snapping it up. In the first round of the funding, $810 Million went to large, publicly traded companies, some with market values of over $100 Million, including the national restaurant chain Shake Shack and the Los Angeles Lakers. I don’t care what anybody says, the Lakers do not need $4 Million. The Knicks need $4 Million to bribe their fans to act like they don’t see what’s going on.” —Trevor Noah

“It’s important to remember that although what these big companies did was shitty, it wasn’t illegal. They saw a chance – a chance to get money – and they took it. Which is what companies are always gonna do. Which raises the question: why didn’t the government come up with regulations to make sure that the money for small businesses actually went to small businesses? Instead of keeping the big dogs out, the treasury ceded authority to the banks, and then the banks did what the banks do, which is: screw over the little guys. Already, a lawsuit against four major banks – Bank of America, US Bank, Chase and Wells Fargo – alleges the banks prioritized bigger customers (with their bigger bank fees) over small businesses. The PPP situation proves you can’t leave the loan decisions up to the banks, as banks are businesses – they’re always going to take care of its top customers first.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

nomination for best Democrat acting like a Republican (Republican Bedtime Story)

"And the Golden Globe nominations came out yesterday. President Obama picked up a nomination for best Democrat acting like a Republican. So, congratulations." –Jay Leno

"And Citigroup announced it is paying taxpayers back the $20 billion in bailout money it took. Wells Fargo announced it's paying back $25 billion it borrowed. And Bank of America says they've paid back the $45 billion in taxpayer money they borrowed. So the good news is taxpayers got their money back from Wall Street. The bad news? Congress has it. You'll never see it again, O.K.? It is gone. It is gone forever." –Jay Leno

"This is pretty amazing. Computer technicians have found 22 million missing White House e-mails from the Bush administration. In a related story, the White House gardeners were digging in the backyard yesterday; they found three former Dick Cheney hunting buddies buried right there." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Basically, if your commercials air during golf tournaments, you're done (top ten richest people)

"Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and Lawrence Ellison topped the Forbes list of the top ten richest people in the U.S., having a combined wealth, as of Friday, of nearly $8,000." --Seth Meyers

"Hey, guess what? Turns out the free market? Not so free. Wall Street was hit hard Monday when Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy, Merrill Lynch was sold to Bank of America, and insurance giant AIG neared a collapse of its own. Basically, if your commercials air during golf tournaments, you're done." --Amy Poehler



"A top McCain policy adviser claimed this week that McCain's work in the Senate helped create the BlackBerry, saying, 'You're looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create.' He then handed the BlackBerry to McCain, who attempted to withdraw $20 from it." --Amy Poehler

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020

Can we pledge to repeal and replace our pledge to repeal and replace (you're broker)

"U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson tried to calm growing fears, vowing that the U.S. financial markets will remain stable. And he said, 'You can take that to the bank, assuming you can find one that's still open.'" --Jay Leno



"You know, I'll tell you, once again, I don't think President Bush gets it. He doesn't really understand these economic issues. Like today, he was asked if customers should be concerned by all these bank closings. And Bush said, 'If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM.'" --Jay Leno



"Well, let's see, Lehman Brothers went bankrupt. Merrill Lynch was sold to Bank of America. See, that's when you know the subprime mortgage market is bad, even brokerage houses are losing their houses. That's why they're called brokers. After they take your money, you're broker. You see?"--Jay Leno



http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020

She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel

"U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson tried to calm growing fears, vowing that the U.S. financial markets will remain stable. And he said, 'You can take that to the bank, assuming you can find one that's still open.'" --Jay Leno



"You know, I'll tell you, once again, I don't think President Bush gets it. He doesn't really understand these economic issues. Like today, he was asked if customers should be concerned by all these bank closings. And Bush said, 'If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM.'" --Jay Leno



"Well, let's see, Lehman Brothers went bankrupt. Merrill Lynch was sold to Bank of America. See, that's when you know the subprime mortgage market is bad, even brokerage houses are losing their houses. That's why they're called brokers. After they take your money, you're broker. You see?"--Jay Leno



"Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to get more people there to like her. She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they say the trip went very well." --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

The only threat to our way of life now is from Bank of America (What's with the stink eye?!)

"Out badass ninja black president did it again. Don't f**k with this guy. So far this year he's killed Somali pirates, he killed bin Laden, he killed al-Awlaki,, now he's killed Gaddafi. The only threat to our way of life now is from Bank of America." –Bill Maher



"They found Gaddafi in a hole with a gun and luggage, or as it's known here, the middle class." –Bill Maher



"The end of the war in Libya is good news for Obama and good news for Michele Bachmann. Now she doesn't have to find out where it is." –Bill Maher



"These Republicans, they will not give credit. They gave credit to the rebels, to the British, and to the French. But they would not mention the president. It was like they were on a game show and the password was 'Obama.' They're like the banks; they will not give a black man credit." –Bill Maher, on Gaddafi's death



http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Who thinks they should change their name to B of A-hole?

"Yesterday on CNN, Michele Bachmann denied that her campaign is losing steam and said all candidates have their ups and downs. Then she said, 'Now if you'll excuse me, I have to hitchhike to my next campaign stop.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"A team of American scientists just traveled to Russia to search for the Abominable Snowman. That's right, a mythical creature who probably doesn't exist. Or as Republicans call that, 'a presidential candidate.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"We found out why Sarah Palin won't run for president. She heard the job lasts four years." –Jay Leno 

"Because of Columbus Day all the banks were closed. And some of them are expected to open tomorrow. Even though Bank of America was closed, they still charged you the $5 debit fee. Who thinks they should change their name to B of A-hole?" –Jay Leno