"Homeland Security has warned of possible
summer attacks by Al Qaeda. And it must be pretty serious because President
Bush has already ignored three memos about this." —David Letterman
"'American Idol' got a record 65 million
votes. In fact today, Bush and Kerry started taking singing lessons." —Jay
Leno
"Newly released transcripts reveal that
President Nixon was drunk during the Arab-Israeli crisis of 1973. After hearing
this, President Bush said, 'Hey, so was I!'" —Conan O'Brien
"A fiery Al Gore called for the resignation of
Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleeza Rice, and CIA Director George Tenet. Bush was
furious. He said to Gore, 'Hey, who elected you president?!'" —Jay Leno
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