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Thursday, April 14, 2016

OK — I can explain the blood!



Last night, CNN hosted a town hall with Republican front-runner Donald Trump, and at one point he complained that the rules of the election are stacked against him “by the establishment.” You gotta give it to Trump. He's the only man who could inherit millions of dollars, have his name on buildings, and still go, “Life is totally unfair!” –Jimmy Fallon
Trump’s family was also at the town hall, and Trump’s daughter Ivanka was asked if the election is straining her friendship with Chelsea Clinton. Which means we have officially begun the presidential campaign of 2032, everybody! –Jimmy Fallon
I read that audience members at the Broadway musical version of “American Psycho” are complaining that fake blood has been splattering on the people sitting in the front row. It's not just ruining their clothes — it's making it impossible for them to hail a cab after the show. “OK — I can explain the blood!” –Jimmy Fallon


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