Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Hey, that's our slogan

A couple in Ohio yesterday ran a half marathon immediately after getting married at the starting line. Ha, usually you're married a lot longer than that before you hear a gunshot. –Seth Meyers
A man in Massachusetts is converting his funeral home into an ice cream parlor with the slogan, "A taste to die for." "Hey, that's our slogan," said Chipotle. –Seth Meyers
Beyoncé released a surprise album, "Lemonade," this weekend. Of course, when you're over 40 and white, every Beyoncé album is a surprise album. –Seth Meyers
Hillary Clinton said Pennsylvania is where she learned to shoot a gun. Meanwhile, Bernie Sanders said Pennsylvania is where he learned to load a musket. –Conan O’Brien
This election is heading into the home stretch and it seems like the whole world is watching. In fact, I read that sales for Donald Trump piñatas have been soaring recently. Or as Donald Trump put it, “Told you I could make the Mexicans pay for something!” –Jimmy Fallon

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