"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is in trouble. He
was arrested this week for threatening to expose some sensitive government
secrets. And you can tell it's serious. His bail was set at 200 goats."
–Jimmy Fallon
"Today
former Pope Benedict is moving back into the Vatican. He is going to be mad
when he sees that Pope Francis took down his Metallica posters." –Conan
O'Brien
"Unemployment
is at the lowest rate in four years and the stock market hit 15,000 for the
first time, or as FOX News put it 'F**king Obama.' Always undoing George Bush's
greatest accomplishments." –Bill Maher
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