Friday, May 3, 2013

The first openly gay wizard is still Dumbledore

"Washington Wizards center Jason Collins just came out of the closet, making him the first pro athlete in a major sport to be openly gay – while the first openly gay wizard is still Dumbledore." –Jimmy Fallon

"Yesterday all five living presidents gathered for the opening of the George W. Bush presidential library in Dallas. Well, six living presidents if you count Hillary in 2016." –Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney was there, and the New York Times said he looked physically revitalized. So if you find any dead animals on your porch who have been completely drained of blood, you know why that happened." –Bill Maher

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