"A new
study estimates that Colorado residents will legally smoke more than 2 million
ounces of marijuana next year. That's like a reggae festival and Willie
Nelson's birthday combined." –Jimmy Kimmel
"A new
international poll finds the least popular country in the world is Iran. After
hearing this, North Korea said, 'What do we have to do?'" –Conan O'Brien
"A woman in New Jersey just found her missing dog after
she grilled pork in her backyard and he came home because of the smell.
Unfortunately, he was immediately shoved out of the way by Governor Chris
Christie." –Jimmy Fallon
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