12 bottles of Mike's Hard Lemonade (One snag)

Vice President JD Vance has agreed to appear on The View. One snag, they can't find a Secret Service agent willing to pat down Whoopi Goldberg. —Greg Gutfeld 

Kamala Harris's appearance in a new Netflix documentary is creating a buzz that she'll run again. Also creating a buzz, Kamala's 12 bottles of Mike's Hard Lemonade. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So, you can either watch people who suffer from head injuries or the UFC (Jokes on you)

No Kings announced they're holding a protest concert with Bette Midler, Joy Reed, and Jane Fonda on the same night as the White House UFC event. So, you can either watch people who suffer from head injuries or the UFC. —Greg Gutfeld

During a live taping of The View, Whoopi Goldberg mistook an audience member for Barack Obama. I know. When in fact it was Michelle Obama. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

an extra hour to fake a headache (they want to be the hot one)

In a recent interview, Whoopi Goldberg said her sex life is mostly hit and runs. Here's how it works. She hits a man with a car and then has sex with them before they can run away. —Greg Gutfeld

MS Now is reducing Morning Joe from 4 hours to three. Which means Mika has an extra hour to fake a headache. —Greg Gutfeld

A poll revealed that when it comes to women picking female friends, the top qualities they value are grit, humor, and intelligence. In other words, they want to be the hot one. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

men will have to guess why the women are mad at them (No golfing in the cemetary)

Pete Hegseth has set equal standards for men and women in the armed services. The women will have to do 50 push-ups in one minute and men will have to guess why the women are mad at them. —Greg Gutfeld

On Thursday Whoopi Goldberg signed off The View with a rallying cry to resist Trump. And her first act of resistance, only ordering one dessert. Goldberg also claims she worries that Trump will deport her, but she can rest for now since all large cranes are made overseas. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Which raises the question, when did Kamala Harris move to Florida? (I miss Obama)

After stealing an ambulance a Florida resident paused to finish a beer before surrendering to police. Which raises the question, when did Kamala Harris move to Florida? —Greg Gutfeld

Whoopi Goldberg said that any cast member of The View could find themselves being deported. Luckily for them ICE can't legally deport livestock. —Greg Gutfeld

In response to the trade war Canadians want to block US access to Canadian-owned Pornhub, which would cripple some of our most successful American companies, like Kleenex. —Greg Gutfeld

A New York City man was seen calmly eating a dead rat on a busy sidewalk. Now it's good to see Don Lemon still enjoys outdoor dining. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Alexa, who payed the largest criminal fine in United States history? (For the last time, I'm Whoopi Goldberg)

Britain has a new foreign secretary, and the new foreign secretary once likened Hillary Clinton to a "sadistic nurse." After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, "Man, I wish." –Conan O’Brien

A new report says that former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice recently rejected an offer from Donald Trump to be his running mate. When Trump's people asked why she rejected the offer, she said, "For the last time, I'm Whoopi Goldberg." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

For the last time, I'm Whoopi Goldberg (Man, I wish)

Britain has a new foreign secretary, and the new foreign secretary once likened Hillary Clinton to a "sadistic nurse." After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, "Man, I wish." –Conan O’Brien

A new report says that former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice recently rejected an offer from Donald Trump to be his running mate. When Trump's people asked why she rejected the offer, she said, "For the last time, I'm Whoopi Goldberg." –Conan O’Brien

Donald Trump Jr. released a series of emails showing he actively tried to collaborate with the Russians before the election. When he heard this, Donald Trump said, "Good luck trying to connect me to Donald Trump Jr." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Among the new states would be Botoxia, Pornsylvania, and of course, the Commonwealth of Kardashiania (Drop it!)

"A major wildfire in northern California is now being blamed on marijuana farmers. Everyone in the region's really angry about it – unless they're downwind, then they're totally cool." –Conan O'Brien

A new report says that former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice recently rejected an offer from Donald Trump to be his running mate. When Trump's people asked why she rejected the offer, she said, "For the last time, I'm Whoopi Goldberg." –Conan O’Brien

"There's currently a petition to split California into several states. Among the new states would be Botoxia, Pornsylvania, and of course, the Commonwealth of Kardashiania." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And then Whoopi said I was going to ask you the same question (you can keep your complete lack of coverage)

November 2013

"This is a crazy coincidence. On Friday, Joe Biden took an Amtrak train to Delaware and wound up sitting next to Whoopi Goldberg. Biden said what it's like making millions of Americans laugh every day? And then Whoopi said I was going to ask you the same question." –Jimmy Fallon

"Happy Veterans Day. President Obama today honored our oldest living veteran, who is 107 years old. So congratulations to Senator John McCain." –Jay Leno

"President Obama said he is sorry that some Americans have lost their existing health coverage due to Obamacare. I think he's getting a little desperate. Today he said if you like your complete lack of coverage, you can keep your complete lack of coverage." –Jay Leno

"A new record was set today in the 100 meters. It was set by Senate Democrats running away from Obamacare." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Herman Cain had more wins in Florida this year than the Miami Dolphins (The sun! Coffee! Toasters! Did I win?)

September 2011

"President Obama is criticizing Rick Perry for denying global warming. I can understand why Rick Perry doesn't take global warming seriously. As governor of Texas, he's probably fried more people than global warming all put together." –Jay Leno

"Herman Cain won the Republican straw poll in Florida. Cain has had more wins in Florida this year than the Miami Dolphins." –Jay Leno

"Joe Biden was a guest on 'The View' today. It was a little weird, When Whoopi said it was time for 'Hot Topics,' Biden was like, 'The sun! Coffee! Toasters! Did I win?'" –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Trump is polling at zero percent among black voters (That seems a little high)

A new report says that former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice recently rejected an offer from Donald Trump to be his running mate. When Trump's people asked why she rejected the offer, she said, "For the last time, I'm Whoopi Goldberg." –Conan O’Brien

Newt Gingrich praised Donald Trump in a new interview and said he's like a figure out of a movie. Yeah, he's the monkey from "Outbreak." –Conan O’Brien

A new survey shows that Donald Trump is polling at zero percent among black voters in Ohio and Pennsylvania. I don't know. That seems a little high. –Conan O’Brien