That's not an affair. It's a felony (Let's be clear)

An etiquette expert is saying that the proper way to eat cereal is with a spoon in one hand and a fork in the other. The fork is to attack anyone that comes for... [Irish accent] ...me Lucky Charms. —Colin Jost

A rash has appeared on President Trump's neck, which is just above his collar. Apparently, someone accidentally washed his shirt in holy water. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I've heard of getting behind on your taxes, but never getting taxed on your behind (magically delicious)

 

"A Republican Illinois state senator wants to take away the state tax deduction from parents with an obese child. I've heard of getting behind on your taxes, but never getting taxed on your behind." –Jay Leno

"Oh, the FDA is now scolding General Mills for claiming that Cheerios can lower your cholesterol by 10%. They say that would be considered an unauthorized health claim. The FDA also said there is no evidence that Lucky Charms are magically delicious." –Jay Leno

"Police in Fort Wayne, Indiana, arrested a man for allegedly driving three blocks with four young children strapped to the hood of his car. Good to see Mitt Romney spending some time with the family, huh?" –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

The suspects are described as armed and jingly (Stop pointing out our lies and hypocrisy!)

April 2023

“Guys, this weekend, President Biden returned to the White House after a four-day trip to Ireland. Yeah, you can tell Biden really enjoyed his time in Ireland 'cause today, instead of falling down the steps of Air Force One, he river-danced down them.” —Jimmy Fallon

“During his trip, Biden quoted his favorite Irish poet, which is different from Trump's favorite Irish quote ‘They'll never get me Lucky Charms.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Did you guys see this? Today, Elon Musk called off the launch of his Starship rocket due to a pressure issue. Yep. Elon tried to make the SpaceX team feel better. He was like, ‘Don't worry, guys. This rocket is still not as dangerous as driving a Tesla.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Guys, I heard that thieves in Philadelphia stole 2 million dimes worth $200,000 from a truck parked at a mall. The suspects are described as armed and jingly.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yet another embarrassing defeat for perennial loser Ryan Gosling (Still no word why that study was stuck on my fridge)

“Moonlight” won the Oscar for Best Picture last night after the award was mistakenly presented to “La La Land” due to an envelope mix-up. Yet another embarrassing defeat for perennial loser Ryan Gosling. –Seth Meyers

A new study has been published providing more evidence that straight women have fewer orgasms than men during sex. Still no word why that study was stuck on my fridge. –Seth Meyers

And finally, a brewery in Virginia is coming out with a new beer that it says tastes like Lucky Charms. Said customers, "No, you get ready for school!" --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It was so bad, Goldman Sachs had to lay off three congressmen (taxed on your behind)

"A Republican Illinois state senator wants to take away the state tax deduction from parents with an obese child. I've heard of getting behind on your taxes, but never getting taxed on your behind." –Jay Leno

"Oh, the FDA is now scolding General Mills for claiming that Cheerios can lower your cholesterol by 10%. They say that would be considered an unauthorized health claim. The FDA also said there is no evidence that Lucky Charms are magically delicious." --Jay Leno

"Today Newt Gingrich didn't agree or disagree on the gay marriage thing. However, he did say there should be a term limit on all marriages." –Jay Leno

"The stock market took a dive today. It was so bad, Goldman Sachs had to lay off three congressmen." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Turning now to sports news, Tom Brady is missing. (That’s tragically suspicious)

April 2022

Business leaders in Miami are hoping to make the city, the crypto currency capitol of the country. Because just like crypto, Miami won’t be around in about twenty years. —Michael Che

An alligator in Florida was photographed swimming with a football in its mouth. Turning now to sports news, Tom Brady is missing. —Michael Che

It was reported that at least 139 people around the country have said they became sick after eating the breakfast cereal Lucky Charms. Well, one or two people getting sick could be a coincidence, but 139? That’s tragically suspicious. —Michael Che

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This marks the first time Kennedy has ever come out against anything with rum in it (there's no funner way to get diabetes)

Yesterday defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld made the news. He testified before Congress and Ted Kennedy called for Rumsfeld's resignation. This is interesting. This marks the first time Kennedy has ever come out against anything with rum in it. --Conan O’Brien 6/24/2005

General Mills is launching a national ad campaign that promotes the health benefits of eating cereals like Trix, Lucky Charms and Cocoa Puffs. They're saying they're healthy. The first ad says eat Lucky Charms there's no funner way to get diabetes. --Conan O’Brien 6/24/2005

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”