I guess wherever Netanyahu shows up, there's going to be some relocating (despite my best efforts)

According to a recent survey, almost 20% of Gen Z have never had sex, despite my best efforts. —Michael Che 

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu addressed an almost empty chamber at the UN after delegates walked out in protest over Israel's war in Gaza. I guess wherever Netanyahu shows up, there's going to be some relocating. —Michael Che 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'm going to have to sit down for most of this (multiply that occurrence by 1.8 million)

I'm so fat when I get my shoes shined I have to take the boot blacks word for it. —Norm Macdonald

Porn actor Ron Jeremy is back at work after having open heart surgery. I think this is interesting, the name of his next feature is going to be called I'm going to have to sit down for most of this. —Norm Macdonald

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

I wonder when he's going to find out (Way ahead of you)

To avoid explosive diarrhea attacks, health officials are urging Americans to avoid salad. True Americans said, “Way ahead of you.” —Kat Timpf

Joe Biden is going on a book tour across the United States to promote his new book. Fascinating news. I wonder when he's going to find out. —Kat Timpf

Scientists say for the first time they have made a cell from scratch. And in 25 years that cell will multiply and grow into a girlfriend for Bill Belichick. —Kat Timpf

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Now multiply that occurence by 1.8 million (is like Johnny Depp telling you you're wearing too many scarves)

An Oklahoma woman was arrested for attempting to have her kids blow into her car's breathalyzer so that she could drive drunk. Even worse, her kids failed. –Seth Meyers

"The NRA is accusing a Texas gun rights group of going too far after the group posted YouTube videos of their members walking into restaurants with semi-automatic rifles. The NRA saying you've gone too far is like Johnny Depp telling you you're wearing too many scarves." –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Ultimately, that decision comes down to the man controlling our military (when he cracked open her shipping container)

 

There is growing confusion over whether Israel being allowed to continue bombing Lebanon was part of the ceasefire with Iran. Ultimately, that decision comes down to the man controlling our military, Benjamin Netanyahu. —Michael Che    

First Lady Melania Trump made a rare public statement to deny reports that Jeffrey Epstein introduced her to Donald Trump, because they actually met when Trump cracked open her shipping container. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.” 

In 44 countries college education is free (It’s been a week since anyone mentioned the Epstein files)

Donald Trump’s comments that the war had “met and exceeded” US objectives. It’s true. It’s been a week since anyone mentioned the Epstein files. —Stephen Colbert

This week the New York Times reported that Trump’s war in Iran was influenced by a February situation room meeting with Benjamin Netanyahu, during which the Israeli prime minister gave a presentation making a case for war. It’s being called the most manipulative PowerPoint since your middle schooler put together ‘Tyler’s Reasons the Family Should Get a Dog.’ “Number one: your fighting makes me sad.” Netanyahu’s presentation reportedly ended by outlining a vision for regime change in Iran. It feels like there’s a pretty big leap there at the end. It sounds like a recipe that says, Preheat oven to 350, chop vegetables … regime change. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They live with constant fear of a reckoning (Netanyahu said it was okay)

It was reported that Jeffrey Epstein hid photographs in secret storage lockers across the country. But I guess he had to take a lot of pictures because kids grow up so fast. —Michael Che

A former Olympic athlete who promoted the run-walk-run strategy to running has died at the age of 80. Cause of death was listed as run-walk-bus. —Michael Che

Detractors on CNN are saying that President Trump had no authorization for this war, but he actually did. Netanyahu said it was okay. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What channel is CDC? (Weed is definitely legal in Colorado)

According to a new study by the CDC, women are more likely than men to experiment with same-sex partners. Said men, “What channel is CDC?” –Seth Meyers

A group in Colorado has set a new world record for largest sticker ball after combining enough decals to create a nearly 9 foot wide 232 pound ball which proves one thing: Weed is definitely legal in Colorado.” –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You got it, boss! (Gutfelditis)

Former football player Matt Khalil is reportedly suing his ex-wife over her comments that his large penis is why they got divorced. By the way, this is the first legal case of its kind. But medical experts are already referring to the condition as Gutfelditis. —Greg Gutfeld

According to a study, more men are picking up sewing as a hobby, which is helpful when they want to reattach their testicles. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's not what it looks like (even if you don't eat the fried chicken, it will still find a way to kill you)

Police say a Texas man stabbed his roommate this weekend during a fight over a piece of fried chicken. So even if you don't eat the fried chicken, it will still find a way to kill you. –Seth Meyers

Mountain goats in Washington state are being airlifted out of Olympic National Park after their population developed a craving for human urine. Said the scientist who made the discovery, "It's not what it looks like." --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Even when I crumple it up for them (but ends in a much lighter tone)

A new poll finds that nearly 30% of Gen Zers think that paying with cash is cringe. Even when I crumple it up for them. —Michael Che

Lionsgate has released the first trailer for “Michael," the upcoming biopic about Michael Jackson. And like Jackson, it starts out very dark but ends in a much lighter tone. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Multiply that by 1.8 million (Boy, is he going to regret that tomorrow)

A killer executed in Florida requested an unpleasant last meal of peanut butter, oatmeal, and two sports drinks. Boy, is he going to regret that tomorrow. —Greg Gutfeld 

Pete Hegseth replaced some of the soldiers in the Texas National Guard because they were too fat. He says it's been years since some of these troops have seen their privates. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

practice for later (freeze tag)

Bill Belichick’s 24-year-old girlfriend was criticized for repeatedly interrupting his interview on CBS Sunday Morning. She also pulled the plugs of several cameras which she called practice for later. —Greg Gutfeld

The White House Correspondent's Dinner was on Saturday and it might have been the most low energy event since Joe Biden challenged Mitch McConnell to a game of freeze tag. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Wait, this still isn't marijuana? (gift baskets)

Amazon Prime just unveiled new buttons you can press to order Doritos, Red Bull, and Trojan condoms. Or as that's called in New Jersey, “A gift basket.” –Jimmy Fallon

A new study found that many popular oregano brands are really olive leaves and other leaves falsely labeled as oregano. Or as high school stoners put it, “Wait, this still isn't marijuana?” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the only way for young people to pay off their student loans is by dating Bill Belichick (Recruitment Ad)

President Trump posted an AI generated video featuring a transformed Gaza with a Trump Hotel, bearded belly dancers and Benjamin Netanyahu lounging on a beach. The video was titled ISIS Recruitment Ad. —Michael Che

Last week, a US appeals court blocked a Biden era student debt relief plan, which means the only way for young people to pay off their student loans is by dating Bill Belichick. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'm Speaking - The Grayzone live (August 9, 2024)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Because nothing says leader of the free world like... (They called me a socialist too)

"Political experts are saying NBC should take 'Celebrity Apprentice' off the air because if Trump runs for president, he could use it as an unfair platform. Because nothing says 'leader of the free world' like someone who can't stop a fight between Meat Loaf and Gary Busey." –Conan O'Brien 

"A meeting between Justin Bieber and Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu has been canceled. No word yet on how this will affect the meeting between Selena Gomez and Hezbollah." –Conan O'Brien 

"'Hustler' publisher Larry Flynt has written a book about the sex lives of American Presidents. The highlights are the chapter on Jefferson, the chapter on Garfield and the first 125 chapters on Clinton." –Conan O'Brien

"It's the 150th anniversary of the start of the Civil War. A new poll found that 23 percent of Americans sympathize with the Confederacy. They are described as 'not African-Americans.'" –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

This isn't mine. It can't be mine (he has an American birth certificate)

"Hillary Clinton met with Israel's Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu for six hours at a hotel yesterday. When Hillary saw that she had a six-hour meeting at a hotel, she was like, 'Wait, I think this is Bill's schedule. This isn't mine. It can't be mine.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"The major pilots unions are complaining about the use of full-body scanners and these pat-down techniques at the airport. Pilots say the searches make it almost impossible for them to smuggle in liquor." –Jay Leno

"President Obama said on '60 Minutes' that he wants to bring back the 8 million jobs we've lost. Today India said 'no.'" –Jay Leno

"Obama's overseas trip has been such a disaster that people in Kenya now claim that he has an American birth certificate." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

a sixth branch of the military called the "Space Force." (The Ludovico Technique)

A source has told Axios that President Trump is triggered by the leaks about special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation, and his instinct is always to be on the offensive. So yeah, real good time to meet with the leader of North Korea. Before he leaves, let's also give him a bunch of Red Bull and remind him Hillary won the popular vote. --Seth Meyers

President Trump said yesterday he is seriously thinking of creating a sixth branch of the military called the "Space Force." They'll patrol the distant reaches between him and Melania. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Trump's plan is to be so guilty of so many things that Mueller just works himself to death (Yeah, totally, me too, I was just checking)

Sources recently told Axios that during a phone call last year, President Trump asked Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu if he actually cares about peace, followed by, “Yeah, totally, me too, I was just checking.” --Seth Meyers

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said today that President Trump has no intention of firing special counsel Robert Mueller. Instead, Trump's plan is to be so guilty of so many things that Mueller just works himself to death. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”