Sadly eyewitnesses report that he was actually riding wood and chopping horses (What a genius, he'll be missed)

Dr. James Watts a neurosurgeon who performed the first frontal lobotomy died this week in Washington. If you recall, a lobotomy involves drilling holes in the skull and then inserting and rotating a knife to destroy brain cells. What a genius, he'll be missed. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

Former First Lady Nancy Reagan reports that her husband has been relaxing at their ranch riding horses and chopping wood. Sadly eyewitnesses report that he was actually riding wood and chopping horses. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

In North Dakota this week a hunter narrowly escaped death when a pocketknife in his breast pocket deflected a bullet shot by another hunter. Man, you know we have too many weapons in this country when people are getting shot in the knife. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”