I think the Mayan calendar is becoming too commercialized, don't you? (two states legalizing weed)

December 2012

"Mitt Romney met Manny Pacquiao just before Pacquiao lost his boxing match to Juan Manuel Marquez. Afterwards, Romney told Pacquiao, 'You lost for the same reason I did – young Hispanics.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Mitt Romney, Snooki, and Steven Seagal were all spotted at the boxing match. The whole crowd was made up of people we won't remember in three years." – Conan O'Brien

"Today Wal-Mart announced that on apocalypse day they will open at midnight. I think the Mayan calendar is becoming too commercialized, don't you?" –David Letterman

"Did you see the big fight this weekend? It was the first time that Manny Pacquiao got knocked out. Mitt Romney came by to meet him and he actually said, 'Hello, Manny. I ran for president. I lost.' If that is not the world's worst pep talk, I don't know what is." –Jimmy Kimmel

"McDonald's reported today that it had better than expected sales in the month of November. Executives credit the success to increased advertising, new menu items, and two states legalizing weed." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You don't know anything, you're a teenager (Passing out face first in Vegas)

December 2012

"Al Qaeda's number two man has been killed by an American drone in Pakistan. In a related story, today Al Qaeda's number three man announced he's stepping down to spend more time with his family." –Jay Leno

"Did you see the Manny Pacquiao fight? He got knocked out by Juan Manuel Marquez in the 6th round. Pacquiao hit the canvas face first. Was that really that big of a deal? Passing out face first in Vegas — who hasn't done that, really?" –Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney was at the fight and he met with Pacquiao right before they got in the ring. Now Romney and Pacquiao have something in common. Both ended up getting knocked out by Latinos." –Jay Leno

"Texas Governor Rick Perry announced he's taking steps to run for president once again. He says he's seeking the presidency for three reasons. He can remember only two of them, but he is seeking it." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's now a gated community (So ladies, he's available!)

June 2012

"Happy Flag Day. Flag Day is the day in which we honor the symbol of our nation and the 8-year-old Chinese kids who make them for us for a nickel apiece." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Republican Senator John McCain and Democrat Harry Reid have called for the federal government to step in and help regulate the sport of boxing. Is that a good idea – something so corrupt and unethical attempting to regulate something so corrupt and unethical?" –Jay Leno

"Guantanamo Bay is getting millions and millions of dollars of upgrades and renovations. In fact, they're not even calling it a detention camp anymore. It's now a gated community." –Jay Leno

"Federal prosecutors also announced they are dropping all charges against John Edwards. So ladies, he's available!" –Jay Leno

"Charges against John Edwards have been dropped; charges against Lance Armstrong have been reinstated. So let's clarify – it's okay to cheat on your wife and use millions of dollars in campaign funds to cover it up, but God help you if you're an American who wins a bicycle race in France. You are screwed." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Incidentally, 1,000 No’s is what Trump calls consent (the first fight decided by natural causes)

What better way to start Black History Month than to be failed by the justice system. Why was this impeachment ever a good idea? We would have been better off yelling, “Citizen’s Arrest!” —Michael Che

I can’t be a democrat and a Knicks fan. That’s too much heartbreak, man. —Michael Che

Boxers Larry Holmes and Jerry Cooney are in talks for a rematch nearly 40 years after they last fought. It will consist of 10 rounds and 80 bathroom breaks. It will be the first fight decided by natural causes. —Michael Che

The Palestinian president has rejected Trump’s Middle East peace plan saying, “1,000 No’s to the deal.” Incidentally, 1,000 No’s is what Trump calls consent. —Michael Che

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

We had to put Dave in the hospital. He was, more than happy (what's all of fighting about?)

You know we have a lot of expressions in the English language that we use all the time. Most of us use them every day and we never seem to examine them very closely. Like undisputed heavyweight champion. Well if it's undisputed what's all of fighting about?

Or that's the last straw! That one doesn't seem fair. To me, you know I think you oughta warn a guy first. That's the next of the last straw! Let him know he's running out of straws.

Or the expression “Down the tubes.” You hear that a lot especially these last couple of years. People say the country is really going down the tubes. What tubes? Have you seen any tubes? Where are these tubes? Where do they go and how come there's more than one tube. It seems to me, one country one tube. Does every state all of a sudden have its own tube now. One tube is all you need. But a tube that big somebody would have seen it by now.

Takes the cake. Where? Where do you take a cake? To the movies? You know where I would take a cake? Down to the bakery to see the other cakes.

And last, is one you say all the time. More than happy. People say, “I would be more than happy to do that.” How can you be more than happy. More than happy sounds like a dangerous mental condition. “We had to put Dave in the hospital. He was, more than happy.” --George Carlin

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”