I think the Mayan calendar is becoming too commercialized, don't you? (two states legalizing weed)

December 2012

"Mitt Romney met Manny Pacquiao just before Pacquiao lost his boxing match to Juan Manuel Marquez. Afterwards, Romney told Pacquiao, 'You lost for the same reason I did – young Hispanics.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Mitt Romney, Snooki, and Steven Seagal were all spotted at the boxing match. The whole crowd was made up of people we won't remember in three years." – Conan O'Brien

"Today Wal-Mart announced that on apocalypse day they will open at midnight. I think the Mayan calendar is becoming too commercialized, don't you?" –David Letterman

"Did you see the big fight this weekend? It was the first time that Manny Pacquiao got knocked out. Mitt Romney came by to meet him and he actually said, 'Hello, Manny. I ran for president. I lost.' If that is not the world's worst pep talk, I don't know what is." –Jimmy Kimmel

"McDonald's reported today that it had better than expected sales in the month of November. Executives credit the success to increased advertising, new menu items, and two states legalizing weed." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You don't know anything, you're a teenager (Passing out face first in Vegas)

December 2012

"Al Qaeda's number two man has been killed by an American drone in Pakistan. In a related story, today Al Qaeda's number three man announced he's stepping down to spend more time with his family." –Jay Leno

"Did you see the Manny Pacquiao fight? He got knocked out by Juan Manuel Marquez in the 6th round. Pacquiao hit the canvas face first. Was that really that big of a deal? Passing out face first in Vegas — who hasn't done that, really?" –Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney was at the fight and he met with Pacquiao right before they got in the ring. Now Romney and Pacquiao have something in common. Both ended up getting knocked out by Latinos." –Jay Leno

"Texas Governor Rick Perry announced he's taking steps to run for president once again. He says he's seeking the presidency for three reasons. He can remember only two of them, but he is seeking it." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Why the hell am I living in Kentucky?

Kim Davis says that issuing marriage licenses to gay people violates her religious beliefs. The state of Kentucky says that it's her job. Gay people in Kentucky say, “Why the hell am I living in Kentucky?” –James Corden

Davis was only in jail for four nights. To put that in perspective, Nelson Mandela was in prison for 27 years and he walked out calmly wearing a suit. Kim Davis was in jail for four nights and she came out like she was about to fight Manny Pacquiao. –James Corden

You know how you can't judge a book by its cover?

"Kim Kardashian is here tonight because she has a new book out. It's called 'Selfish.' It is 400 pages of pictures she took of herself. You know how you can't judge a book by its cover? This one you can." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Today Carly Fiorina announced that she is running for president. Someone else bought 'CarlyFiorina.org' and posted 30,000 sad emoticons to represent all the people she laid off at Hewlett-Packard. I haven't seen that many sad, blank faces in one place since the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight." –Jimmy Fallon



If that is not the world's worst pep talk, I don't know what is (young Hispanics)

"Mitt Romney met Manny Pacquiao just before Pacquiao lost his boxing match to Juan Manuel Marquez. Afterwards, Romney told Pacquiao, 'You lost for the same reason I did – young Hispanics.'" –Conan O'Brien



"Mitt Romney, Snooki, and Steven Seagal were all spotted at the boxing match. The whole crowd was made up of people we won't remember in three years." – Conan O'Brien

"Did you see the big fight this weekend? It was the first time that Manny Pacquiao got knocked out. Mitt Romney came by to meet him and he actually said, 'Hello, Manny. I ran for president. I lost.' If that is not the world's worst pep talk, I don't know what is." –Jimmy Kimmel 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Al Qaeda's number three man announced he's stepping down to spend more time with his family (knocked out by Latinos)

"Al Qaeda's number two man has been killed by an American drone in Pakistan. In a related story, today Al Qaeda's number three man announced he's stepping down to spend more time with his family." –Jay Leno



"Mitt Romney was at the fight and he met with Pacquiao right before they got in the ring. Now Romney and Pacquiao have something in common. Both ended up getting knocked out by Latinos." –Jay Leno



"Texas Governor Rick Perry announced he's taking steps to run for president once again. He says he's seeking the presidency for three reasons. He can remember only two of them, but he is seeking it." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”