He violated Fox News’s strict 11-woman limit (his secret business trick called “not paying for stuff”)

Bill O’Reilly has been fired from Fox News after being accused of sexually harassing up to 12 women. Apparently O’Reilly violated Fox News’s strict 11-woman limit. –Conan O’Brien

An archaeologist is claiming he’s discovered an amazing lost city in Kansas. Then he realized he just got drunk and watched “The Wizard of Oz.” –Conan O’Brien

A new report says the U.S. border wall could cost three times as much as previously estimated. However, Trump says he’ll keep costs down with his secret business trick called “not paying for stuff.” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Entertainment Division of the Military Industrial Complex (there’s already a movie about it)

November 2022

The key senate race in Georgia between Raphael Warnock and Hershel Walker will move on to a runoff in December. But Walker has offered Warnock $500 to just take care of it, baby. —Michael Che

Many black voters in Georgia were frustrated with another runoff election because the burden of saving the senate fell on them once again. It has happened so often, there’s already a movie about it called Tyler Perry’s Madea Saves the Senate. —Michael Che

Apple is saying that Covid in China has led to a slow down in iPhone production. Wow. So I guess the new variant does affect children. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

For scale, that’s four and a half Michael Bloombergs (Fairly simple thing that happens to work)

"My sister has multiple personalities. She called me the other day and my caller ID exploded."--Zach Galifianakis

"Never again will Brian Williams mislead this great nation about being shot at in a war we probably wouldn’t have ended up in if the media had applied this level of scrutiny to the actual f**king war." –Jon Stewart

“The pandemic is having a devastating impact on the economy – restaurants alone could lose $225 Billion in the next three months. For scale, that’s four and a half Michael Bloombergs.” —Samantha Bee

I'd like to talk about a few things that bring us together. Okay, things that emphasize our similarities instead of our differences, which is all you ever hear about in this country are differences. Politicians and the media are always pushing the things that separate us, things that make us different. That's the way the ruling class operates in any society. They divide the rest of the people, they keep the lower and the middle classes fighting with each other so that the rich can run off with all the fucking money. Fairly simple thing that happens to work. --George Carlin

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'll close that bridge when I get to it (Apparently traffic was a nightmare)

"Tomorrow Chris Christie is expected to unveil his agenda for this year.

When asked what he's planning for next year, Christie said, 'I'll close that

bridge when I get to it.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Yesterday after his press conference about the big traffic scandal,

Chris Christie traveled to Fort Lee, New Jersey, to personally apologize

to the mayor there, but it took longer than he thought. Apparently traffic

was a nightmare." –Jay Leno

"Christie apologized and promised the bridge will stay open for cars,

trucks, and the buses he's throwing his staff under." –Jimmy Fallon

"Governor Chris Christie is in trouble because his staff shut down part

of the George Washington Bridge to get back at a political rival. Yesterday,

Christie gave a 107-minute press conference to address the scandal.

The last time Christie talked for 107 minutes, he was ordering at IHOP."

–Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry