I don't want to spoil anything, but... (That's two words)

"Mitt Romney says he plans to differentiate himself from President

Bush with a single word -- 'intelligence.' When he heard this,

President Bush said, 'Intelligence? That's two words.'" --Conan

O'Brien

"Former Vice President Dick Cheney is in the news. Cheney has signed a publishing deal to write his memoirs. I don't want to spoil anything, but it ends with him killing Obi-Wan Kenobi.'" --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

No one is going to stop you, there are no doors (Roomba-burglar incidents)

Police in Oregon recently responded to a potential burglary in

progress after a woman reported seeing shadows of someone in

her house. Police arrived only to find the suspect was actually a

Roomba that was trapped in her bathroom. Now listen, when you

legalize weed in your state you’re going to get a few Roomba-burglar

incidents, you know? It is quite an endorsement for Roomba. It’s

so quiet you don’t notice it until you think it’s robbing your house.

--James Corden

Housing prices are so high in the San Francisco Bay Area right now that a small one-story burned-out home is selling for — brace yourself — $800,000. It comes with two-and-a-half baths and two-and-a-half walls. The house is loaded with fun features like a fire pit out back, a fire pit in the kitchen, a fire pit in the living room, and all the bedrooms got fire pits. Why not save $800,000 and just move in now? No one is going to stop you, there are no doors. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'll close that bridge when I get to it (Apparently traffic was a nightmare)

"Tomorrow Chris Christie is expected to unveil his agenda for this year.

When asked what he's planning for next year, Christie said, 'I'll close that

bridge when I get to it.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Yesterday after his press conference about the big traffic scandal,

Chris Christie traveled to Fort Lee, New Jersey, to personally apologize

to the mayor there, but it took longer than he thought. Apparently traffic

was a nightmare." –Jay Leno

"Christie apologized and promised the bridge will stay open for cars,

trucks, and the buses he's throwing his staff under." –Jimmy Fallon

"Governor Chris Christie is in trouble because his staff shut down part

of the George Washington Bridge to get back at a political rival. Yesterday,

Christie gave a 107-minute press conference to address the scandal.

The last time Christie talked for 107 minutes, he was ordering at IHOP."

–Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry