which is now called the Department of Ka-ching (Maybe take a minute and think about it)

President Trump signed an executive order on Friday renaming the Department of Defense. It’s now the Department of War. When they heard about the big change, the owner of Cracker Barrel was, like, ‘Maybe take a minute and think about it.’ — Jimmy Fallon

“He’s going with Department of War, which is what people call the clearance section at TJ Maxx.” — Jimmy Fallon

“Changing the name is expected to cost a billion dollars. Trump said, ‘I’ll get the money from the Treasury Department, which is now called the Department of Ka-ching.’” — Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which means it’s six more weeks of dictatorship (stocking up on eyeliner)

“Well, speaking of President Trump, after not being seen in public for several days, today he appeared in the Oval Office, which means it’s six more weeks of dictatorship.” — Jimmy Fallon

“Today Trump claimed that he was unaware of online theories that he’s sick. He said he’s too focused on real issues, like the Cracker Barrel logo.” — Jimmy Fallon

“I’ll know something’s actually wrong with Trump when JD Vance starts stocking up on eyeliner.” — Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Must Sell Network Before Christmas (a glow-in-the-dark Cracker Barrel)

A 33-year-old man returning from Mexico was found to have 4.2 ounces of fentanyl in his rectum. Such. Remind me to avoid fentanyl. —Greg Gutfeld

These days MSNBC has come to stand for Must Sell Network Before Christmas. —Greg Gutfeld

So what's next for MSNBC. Well they're going to try to redefine themselves as a startup, but that's impossible because the product is nothing new and it's hopelessly contaminated. It's Radioactive. It's like closing Chernobyl, throwing on a coat of paint and reopening it as a glow-in-the-dark Cracker Barrel. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Please get out of the car! (Trump-friendly restaurants)

Tonight was part one of "The Bachelor" finale. People weren't sure if Colton would go with Hannah or Tayshia or maybe try to win back Cassie. I've got my own theories, but after explaining them, my Uber driver was like, "Sir, we've been at your destination for 10 minutes. Please get out of the car!" --Jimmy Fallon

A new app has come out similar to Yelp. The app helps Trump supporters find Trump-friendly restaurants. This way they won’t risk harassment when they go out to eat. The app’s slogan is, “Hope you like Arby’s.” No, it’s got a great selection of restaurants that any Trump supporter would enjoy. There’s Buffalo Far Right Wings, Five White Guys Burgers and Fries, and of course Cracker Barrel. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

After hearing about it President Bush said, “Show off.” (more barrel and less cracker)

On the campaign trail New Mexico Senator John Kerry spent the day reading children's books to a group of kindergarteners. After hearing about it President Bush said, “Show off.” --Conan O’Brien 5/4/2004

Earlier this week Bill Gates agreed to pay an eight hundred thousand dollar fine for violating the rules of a stock purchase. On the on the bright side in the time it took the judge to say the words eight hundred thousand dollars Gates made four million dollars. --Conan O’Brien 5/4/2004

The Cracker Barrel restaurant chain settled a discrimination suit against African-Americans. Afterwards a spokesperson for the restaurant said from now on we'll try to be more barrel and less cracker. --Conan O’Brien 5/4/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

NBC suspended Brian Williams for six months without pay

"NBC suspended Brian Williams for six months without pay for misrepresenting a story of something that happened to him 12 years ago in Iraq. I have a solution. They should send him up in a helicopter, fire an RPG at it, and if he makes it down, that's enough. He's forgiven." –Jimmy Kimmel



"A lawmaker in Tennessee is pushing to make the Bible the official state book. It would replace Tennessee's current state book, the menu at Cracker Barrel." –Seth Meyers