Can you imagine anyone being that unpopular? (mice who love musicals)

Scientists are using genetic engineering to create mice with two male parents. It's all part of a bigger plan to create mice who love musicals. —Greg Gutfeld

The latest poll has the Democrats having a 31% approval rating. Can you imagine anyone being that unpopular, said Hitler. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I knew if we waited long enough...

"A woman claiming to be Hitler's maid said that he pretended to adhere to a healthy diet but actually had an insatiable sweet tooth. I knew if we waited long enough, we'd eventually find some dirt on that guy." –Seth Meyers


"The Republicans in Congress voted no on the minimum wage. Wow, that's not the Republicans I know. I think they're confused. We're supposed to apply the economic sanctions to the Russians." –David Letterman

The only weather-related thing he's ever prayed for is

Jon Stewart to congressional Republicans who voted against Hurricane Sandy aid: "If you guys can’t vote for this, then we’re f**ked for the next few years. And I’m not saying you're responsible for all the problems facing our country, but you sure are making them a lot harder to fix."

"A political opponent is accusing Governor Chris Christie of praying for Hurricane Sandy. In response, Christie said the only weather-related thing he's ever prayed for is a Dairy Queen Blizzard." –Conan O'Brien 

Jon Stewart on gun control opponents: "No one's taking away ALL the guns. But now I get it, now I see what's happening. So this is what it is. Their paranoid fear of a possible dystopic future prevents us from addressing our actual dystopic present. We can't even begin to address 30,000 gun deaths that are actually, in reality, happening in this country every year because a few of us must remain vigilant against the rise of imaginary Hitler."

Or as it used to be called, The Glenn Beck Show.

"Hank Williams Jr. got his ass kicked off of Monday Night Football. His crime was comparing Obama to Hitler on Fox News. Or as it used to be called, 'The Glenn Beck Show." –Bill Maher



"If we are going to fire every Southern hillbilly who thinks Obama is like Hitler, who will be our Republican congressmen?" –Bill Maher 



"Rick Perry assured Hank Williams that he has a job singing theme songs once Texas starts televising executions." –Bill Maher



John Hulse painting

Osama bin Laden joining the cast of Two and a Half Men

"The CIA is going through the stuff they found in Osama bin Laden's compound, including a diary. I didn't know he had a diary. That is so sweet. They haven't read the diary yet because they can't find the little key to open it up." –Craig Ferguson 



"Osama bin Laden kept a diary. Well that's very sweet, isn't it? Turns out his secret desire was to sneak into New York and catch a showing of 'Mamma Mia.' He briefly considered joining the cast of 'Two and a Half Men.'" –Craig Ferguson



"Isn't it odd how history's greatest monsters have an artistic side? Osama bin Laden was a writer. Hitler was a painter. Justin Bieber is a singer." –Craig Ferguson


John Hulse painting