Osama bin Laden joining the cast of Two and a Half Men

"The CIA is going through the stuff they found in Osama bin Laden's compound, including a diary. I didn't know he had a diary. That is so sweet. They haven't read the diary yet because they can't find the little key to open it up." –Craig Ferguson 



"Osama bin Laden kept a diary. Well that's very sweet, isn't it? Turns out his secret desire was to sneak into New York and catch a showing of 'Mamma Mia.' He briefly considered joining the cast of 'Two and a Half Men.'" –Craig Ferguson



"Isn't it odd how history's greatest monsters have an artistic side? Osama bin Laden was a writer. Hitler was a painter. Justin Bieber is a singer." –Craig Ferguson


John Hulse painting