So what is their job now? (Can someone please order him a conscience?)

“There was another outrageous Supreme Court ruling this week: the 6-3 decision in West Virginia v EPA, which limits the Environmental Protection Agency’s power to regulate emissions from fossil fuel-fired power plants. The Supreme Court ruled that the Environmental Protection Agency does not have the authority to protect the environment…? So what is their job now? Just to look at the environment and be like ‘oh shit’?” —Trevor Noah

“Are NBA players supposed to just shut up and dribble or literally fix racism all by themselves? Either way, it feels like America relies way too much on the athletes to do everything. They’re supposed to play basketball, fix racism, sell cereal and date all the Kardashians?” — Trevor Noah

“Meanwhile, as coronavirus tanks the economy, Amazon has asked the public to donate to a relief fund for its workers. Yeah, the richest company in the world, owned by the richest man in the world, is asking us for money. Which, let’s be honest, is some bullshit. Can someone please order Jeff Bezos a conscience? With Prime, it can arrive within two days.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You can’t outrun your mortality on a Vespa! (and cross it deliberately)

Meanwhile, Trump’s “wonder wheel of random tariffs” has hit most US trading partners. On Wednesday, the EU clapped back, instituting tariffs on a number of American goods including bourbon, whiskey, jeans and Harley-Davidson motorcycles. “That is going to make it so much harder for European men to have a midlife crisis. You can’t outrun your mortality on a Vespa!” —Stephen Colbert

“It’s not just the economy. Trump also, and I want to be fair, is ruining everything,” as his Environmental Protection Agency announced it would repeal dozens of the nation’s most significant environmental regulations, including more than two dozen protections against air and water pollution. “I mean, just even hearing that stresses me out. I need a drink, man,” [said Colbert before sipping a brown liquid.] “Oh my God, that’s water.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’ll pay taxes over my dead body (they're complicit)

“You have to marvel at the pettiness of Donald Trump, who last month had his ex-wife Ivana Trump buried near the first hole of Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey, probably for a tax break. The strange burial site would exempt the golf course from New Jersey’s tax code, which does not tax land used as a cemetery. Wow. A lot of people say, ‘I’ll pay taxes over my dead body,’ but Trump means it. Over someone else’s body.” —Trevor Noah

“There was another outrageous supreme court ruling this week: the 6-3 decision in West Virginia v EPA, which limits the Environmental Protection Agency’s power to regulate emissions from fossil fuel-fired power plants. The supreme court ruled that the Environmental Protection Agency does not have the authority to protect the environment…? So what is their job now? Just to look at the environment and be like ‘oh shit’?” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So what is their job now? (And so are you)

“There was another outrageous supreme court ruling this week: the 6-3 decision in West Virginia v EPA, which limits the Environmental Protection Agency’s power to regulate emissions from fossil fuel-fired power plants. The supreme court ruled that the Environmental Protection Agency does not have the authority to protect the environment…? So what is their job now? Just to look at the environment and be like ‘oh shit’?” —Trevor Noah

“I know many people around the country feel infuriated, depressed and like there’s no hope. But there is, there really is. There are grassroots organizations already doing the work on the ground in need of donations and volunteers. And as for the Democrats in power, there is something you can actually do. I have even written a poem addressed to Democratic lawmakers: Roses are red / Violets are blue / The people voted, so how about doing your fucking job passing laws to codify contraception, marriage equality and all the other rights the supreme court has basically threatened to take away / And so are you.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

you'll be able to see everything, except what the hell your teenage daughter's up to (Sorry. Sorry for that image)

"This morning, John McCain, I don't know if you saw this, he appeared as a guest on 'The View.' Did you see that? Yeah, there was kind of an awkward moment when McCain looked at Barbara Walters, he looked at her up and down and said, 'Man, if I was 20 years younger...' Sorry. Sorry for that image." --Conan O'Brien

"This is weird. A new book that is coming out claims that Osama bin laden is a huge Whitney Houston fan. Experts say that helps explain why bin Laden's latest video repeatedly calls for 'death to Bobby Brown.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Experts say -- this is interesting -- that since Sarah Palin became the vice presidential nominee, there's been an actual spike in the sales of her style of eyeglasses. Gone way up. Yeah. Yeah, with Palin's glasses, you'll be able to see everything, except what the hell your teenage daughter's up to." --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Environmental Punch-Dolphins-in-the-Taint Agency (an unspeakably perfect miracle)

June 2022

“The Supreme Court held the last session of its term on Thursday and announced yet another controversial decision. This time, the court ruled to limit the Environmental Protection Agency’s ability to regulate carbon emissions from power plants. These court rulings have been a real roller-coaster ride, in that I am nauseous and scared we’re all going to die.” —Stephen Colbert

“Today was the final day of the Supreme Court’s current term and I gotta say, thank god. This must be how the Jets feel when halftime finally arrives: [imitating a Jets player] ‘Well, at least we get 15 minutes when they can’t kick our [expletive]!’” —Seth Meyers

“What are you thinking, Supreme Court? It’s the Environmental Protection Agency — if they can’t limit the emissions, then the agency can’t protect the environment. They’re going to have to change what the ‘P’ stands for — maybe ‘Environmental Punch-Dolphins-in-the-Taint Agency.’” —Stephen Colbert

“With these maniacs in charge, our only hope is that the smokestacks put on a condom.” —Stephen Colbert

“There was another outrageous supreme court ruling this week: the 6-3 decision in West Virginia v EPA, which limits the Environmental Protection Agency’s power to regulate emissions from fossil fuel-fired power plants. The supreme court ruled that Environmental Protection Agency does not have the authority to protect the environment…? So what is their job now? Just to look at the environment and be like ‘oh shit’?” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Because if a single human proves that America is asking for it, you're looking at him (You gotta believe in video tape)

 "You gotta love Sarah Palin. She is now on her website asking her idiot fan base for donations for her to help make a decision about whether or not to run. She wants money now for just thinking? What a grifter." –Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin's doppelganger, Michele Bachmann, they asked her at the debate about the HPV vaccine, which she said was potentially dangerous. She said, 'I didn't make that claim, nor did I make that statement. Which she obviously did, we have it. It's one thing to say you don't believe in evolution, you don't believe in global warming. But videotape? You gotta believe in video tape." –Bill Maher

"The next time you hear anyone say 'job creator,' I want you to picture [The Situation from Jersey Shore]. Yes, The Situation made $5 million dollars last year, and if he has to pay a little more in taxes, it won't mean he's creating fewer jobs. It will mean a tiny fraction of his money actually pays for the government that works to keep him alive. The EPA that contains his oil runoff. The Postal Service that delivers his body wax. The Bureau of Weights and Measures who weigh his dumbbells. The Centers for Disease Control that provides a steady supply of penicillin. And the military, who keep the Taliban away. Because if a single human proves that America is asking for it, you're looking at him." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He is also from a mixed background. He's half jack and half ass. (edge of their consciousness)

"The budget deal will cut almost $40 billion out of the budget. This of course is very bad news for poor people, health programs for the poor were cut $600 million; the EPA was cut $1.6 billion. The good news: they cut all the money out of repairing federal buildings. So there was a slight chance a wall will collapse on Eric Cantor." –Bill Maher

"Donald Trump is attacking President Obama's background. And I said, 'Wait a minute, Trump also is from a mixed background. He's half jack and half ass.'" –David Letterman

"Barack Obama recently presented a powerful speech detailing his 2012 budget. And he kept the audience, including Vice President Joe Biden, on the edge of their consciousness." –Stephen Colbert

"A study found 1 in 3 Americans lives near a nuclear power plant. And the other 2 live near a Kardashian. So we're all at risk of exposure to dangerous seepage." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Are they trying to get rid of a body? (thank you for your service you patriotic beavers)

“On one level, obviously this is fun, and hahaha. But it’s also really dangerous, because why have an election if next November 3 he could just say: ‘I just saw the election results, I won all 50 states plus Manitoba, thank you for your service you patriotic beavers.’” --Stephen Colbert

“Two can play that game. Hey, did you hear what was in the IG report? It’s much worse than any of us imagined – Trump confessed to colluding with the Russians to influence the 2016 election AND to stopping the Golden Globes from nominating any women for best director.” --Stephen Colbert

“People are flushing toilets 15 times? What? Are they trying to get rid of a body?” --Stephen Colbert

“[Imitating Trump] Toilet’s clogged again. Call the E.P.A. Have them declare my commode a Superfund site. And you’d better get FEMA in here, too, because this bathroom is a disaster.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Uh, yeah, that's why I'm a member of the Zipper Club (This is the end of my presidency)

"On his last show, Larry King told Bill Clinton they were both members of the Zipper Club because they both had open heart surgery. Clinton was, "Uh, yeah, that's why I'm a member of the Zipper Club..." –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama was talking with school kids yesterday and said he walked their dog Bo on the White House lawn and picked up his poop. They should probably have someone else do that. Obama's not good at cleaning up messes other people have left for him." –Jimmy Fallon

"Michelle Obama wore a vintage thrift-store dress from the 1950s for the Christmas in Washington concert. She's not the only one going vintage. In fact, her husband just agreed to a tax plan from the early 2000s." –Jimmy Fallon

"The EPA just announced that the artificial sweetener saccharin is not a cancer threat after all. Or as I'll be reporting the story 10 years from now, 'The EPA just announced that the artificial sweetener saccharin is definitely a cancer threat after all.'" –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The cause of the toxic waste... (Just what kind of life form?)

Recent photos sent from the Galileo space probe orbiting Jupiter's moon Europa suggest that it meets the conditions necessary to support a primitive life form. Just what kind of life form? You guessed it, Frank Stallone. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

According to the EPA it will cost an estimated two hundred and ninety five million dollars to clean up toxic waste at the former Lockheed Martin military aircraft plant in California. The cause of the toxic waste, you guessed it, Frank Stallone. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

The number one selling doll this Christmas is Tickle Me Elmo and the least popular selling doll, you guessed it, Tickle Me Frank Stallone. --Norm Macdonald, SNL

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Authorities became suspicious that some of the players were Canadian (Regulations are being written here)

"Earlier today, the British Petroleum oil executives — the guys responsible for the big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico — they testified before Congress. This was great. They were criticized by the same guys who approved drilling in the gulf." –David Letterman

"Did you see the new Miss U.S.A. pageant over the weekend. Miss Michigan won. Congratulations to Miss Michigan. And, well, it gets better. John McCain has already selected her as his 2012 running mate." –David Letterman

"Arizona may lose its hockey team. Apparently, here's what happened. Authorities became suspicious that some of the players were Canadian." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Honey, I'm going to be out on the road a couple weeks (National Bed Bug Summit)

"President Obama is going to Mexico tomorrow. He visited Canada a couple weeks ago, then he went throughout Europe, then he went to Iraq, and tomorrow he's going to Mexico. See, this is what happens when your mother-in-law moves in with you. 'Honey, I'm going to be out on the road a couple weeks.'" --Jay Leno

"In Arlington, Virginia, the Environmental Protection Agency is holding something called the National Bed Bug Summit. Health officials are going to offer advice on how to combat the growing problem of bed bugs. And it's being held in Arlington's Crystal City Sheraton Hotel. See, that's when you know the economy is bad, okay? When a Sheraton hotel is thrilled to be hosting the bed bug summit. 'Hey, be sure to come back in June for the big head lice symposium.'" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

So, I guess that’s what passes for good news these days (Or, more likely, snails live pretty similar lives)

The CDC has announced that romaine lettuce is safe to eat again. So, I guess that’s what passes for good news these days. Romaine’s back! --Seth Meyers

IKEA’s launching a new credit card that offers rewards and perks for frequent customers, but it is a bitch to put together! --Seth Meyers

Scientists claim to have succeeded transplanting a memory from the brain of one sea snail and implanting it into another. Or, more likely, snails live pretty similar lives. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I love it when you talk dirty to me Scotty (She’s my favorite Teenage Witch)

The Russia investigation is heating up. I saw that if Trump’s lawyers don’t agree to a sit-down interview with Mueller, he’ll issue a subpoena. Trump was like, “No problem, I love Subpoena. She’s my favorite Teenage Witch.” --Jimmy Fallon

Facebook is coming out with their own dating service. So now you can meet someone on Facebook before dating them, breaking up, and then stalking them on Facebook. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

His grandson showed him how to use a bong (explains why Goofy is missing all but two teeth)

It was reported that President Trump is doing nothing right now but angrily fuming, eating, and watching TV. In other words, it sounds like Trump is turning into a Trump voter. --Conan O’Brien

Former House Speaker John Boehner has joined the board of a marijuana company and today he said his "thinking on cannabis has evolved." That can only mean really one thing: His grandson showed him how to use a bong. --Conan O’Brien

DEA officials have seized 500 pounds of meth concealed inside Disney figurines, which explains why Goofy is missing all but two teeth. --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

a 71-year-old man whining about the post office (Cheatin’ Obama?)

President Trump this morning on Twitter nicknamed former President Obama for the first time, and called him “Cheatin’ Obama.” Cheatin’ Obama? That’s a pretty lame nickname. You know what’s a cool nickname? Stormy. --Seth Meyers

President Trump today attacked Amazon for the second time this week, tweeting, “I am right about Amazon costing the United States Post Office massive amounts of money for being their Delivery Boy.” This is when I appreciate Twitter. It used to be, if you wanted to hear a 71-year-old man whining about the post office, you had to go to the post office. --Seth Meyers

When asked about EPA leader Scott Pruitt today, President Trump said, quote, “I hope he’s going to be good.” You “hope he’s going to be good?” He’s a member of the Cabinet, not a golden retriever. What’s your official position on Congress? Do you “hope they stay off the furniture?” --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

Environmental Polluters Agency (Fixed It!)

  

Harvey Weinstein was fired by his company yesterday for being accused of sexual harassment. Not good. They said if he keeps it up, he’ll wind up with his own show on Fox News. –Jimmy Fallon

     

On Sunday Republican Sen. Bob Corker got into a Twitter feud with President Trump that ended with Corker posting, “It's a shame the White House has become an adult day care center. Someone obviously missed their shift this morning.” It is funny, but Corker’s tweet is not entirely accurate. A day care center would imply that someone there is actually in charge. –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Our New EPA/Everybody’s fired/See ya

Tonight President Trump gave his first TV interview since he fired the director of the FBI on Tuesday. You know, one of the reasons they’re giving for that firing is that Trump said James Comey lost the trust of rank and file FBI agents. And today the acting head of the FBI, Andrew McCabe, flatly contradicted that. He said the vast majority of agents hold a deep positive connection to Director Comey. So he’s fired too, then, right? Everybody’s fired. –Jimmy Kimmel

I think the strategist thing about how all this went down is that Trump fired James Comey by letter. He had a letter delivered to his office at the FBI. He didn’t even say, “You’re fired,” which is his catch phrase! It would be like Arnold Schwarzenegger leaving a party and just going, “See ya.” –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

it’s one of the best statues of Gary Busey I’ve ever seen

This bill has been passed by the House and the Senate and will now go to Trump for signing. And Trump says he is going to sign it, because remember, privacy only matters when we are talking about his tax returns. –James Corden

In Portugal, where an airport was renamed in his honor, world-famous soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo was presented with a statue of himself. Sort of. See if you think this statue looks like him [shows photo of hideous statue and handsome Ronaldo]. It’s terrible! It looks like his face was bended like Beckham. Just because it’s a soccer player doesn’t mean that you have to actually sculpt the statue with your feet. –James Corden

It’s one of the worst statues of Ronaldo ever. But on the bright side, it’s one of the best statues of Gary Busey I’ve ever seen. –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html