Fake news! I never go down to debasement! (Anniversaries go up to 8?!)

Tomorrow is Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner’s 8th wedding anniversary. Said Donald Trump, “Anniversaries go up to 8?!” –Seth Meyers

According to Ivana Trump’s new book, President Trump once left his son Donald Trump Jr. stranded on a tarmac after he was five minutes late for a flight. Even worse, Eric’s been in an overhead bin for the last two years. –Seth Meyers

Sen. Bob Corker said today that President Trump will be remembered for, quote, “the debasement of our nation.” Said Trump, “Fake news! I never go down to debasement! That’s where we keep Eric.” –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Two proxy wars at the same time, Jack (Wait, what's consent?)

In that tweet, Trump insinuates that the New York Times set up Bob Corker by recording him, but the transcript actually shows that they had Corker's full consent. When Trump heard that, he said, “Wait, what's consent?” –James Corden

Yesterday Donald Trump’s devoted wife Melania gave an interview to Anderson Cooper where she defended Donald, saying that Billy Bush basically manipulated her husband into saying those things. Because if there’s one thing we know about Donald Trump, he usually does exactly what people tell him to do. –James Corden

But then late Sunday morning, Bob Corker gave an interview and he said it concerned him that Trump runs the White House “like he’s doing ‘The Apprentice.’” Again, not entirely accurate. On “The Apprentice” only one person got fired per week. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Trump has banned the CDC from using seven words (The seven words are...)

Senator Bob Corker said this weekend that he would support the Republican tax plan, despite not reading it. "Same," said Trump about the constitution. –Seth Meyers

The Trump administration has banned the CDC from using seven words in official documents for next year's budget. The seven words are "Hillary Clinton actually won the popular vote." –Seth Meyers

      

A magisterial collection. An emotional rollercoaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984. http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #Indiana #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Go to your safe space and think tax cuts (friendship orgy)

A lot of people have been talking about the fact that three Republican senators — Flake, McCain and Corker — have called Donald Trump unfit for office. Sure, scientists, psychiatrists, human rights activists and world and religious leaders have also said it. But, eventually, Republicans did as well. They’re late to everything. They just found out about “Gangnam Style.” –Stephen Colbert

But Trump claimed everybody got along great at yesterday’s big Republican unity lunch: [clip of Trump] “I think we had a — I called it a ‘love fest.’ It was almost a love fest. Maybe it WAS a love fest.” Maybe it was a love fest, could have been a friendship orgy, we’re still checking. –Stephen Colbert

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Dodger Dogs/multiple standing ovations/Vietnam

For those who are visiting us, welcome to Los Angeles — home of the Dodgers who are in the World Series tonight. The Dodgers and the Houston Astros. Dodgers won the first game last night. It was the hottest World Series game ever, 103 degrees. I was at the game. They didn’t have to cook the Dodger Dogs, that’s how hot it was. –Jimmy Kimmel

President Trump has been feuding with a couple of senators from his own party — Jeff Flake of Arizona and Bob Corker of Tennessee are on his list right now. The president decided to tweet about this today. He said there are NO problems in the GOP; in fact, they love him so much they cannot sit down when he walks in a room, “multiple standing ovations.” Who wants to be the one who tell him that people are required to stand when the president enters the room? That’s not an accomplishment. That’s like saying, “Every time I walk into a Starbucks, guy behind the counter asks me if I want coffee.” –Jimmy Kimmel

     

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

a bunch of 70-year-old senators having an orgy (The Cosby effect)

In the past week, several prominent men have been fired for sexual harassment and it’s being called “The Harvey Effect.” Of course, none of them will see any jail time and that’s being called “The Cosby Effect.” –Conan O’Brien

Donald Trump has recently been feuding with Republican Senators Jeff Flake and Bob Corker after Senator Flake gave an impassioned speech against Trump. The president struck back today, tweeting, “The meeting with Republican senators yesterday outside of Flake and Corker was a love fest with standing ovations and great ideas for U.S.A.” A love fest. Yeah, ’cuz nothing gets the American people excited like visualizing a bunch of 70-year-old senators having an orgy. –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

It’s like a new Civil War (You NEED a night shift)

I don’t know if you’re paying attention, but internal strife is tearing the Republican Party apart at the seams. It’s like a new Civil War, only neither side is trying to help black people. –Stephen Colbert

The latest shots from Fort Trumpter are against Tennessee Sen. Bob Corker. Corker and Trump have been fighting, head to head like two rams, for a while now. You might recall that Corker called the White House “an adult day care center.” OK, clever. Not entirely accurate — with Trump, you also need a night shift. –Stephen Colbert

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

So, looks like the first lady’s anti-bullying initiative still has a ways to go

President Trump and Republican Sen. Bob Corker have now re-ignited their feud. In an interview this morning, Corker slammed Trump and his foreign policy. President Trump, of course, responded on Twitter. In a series of tweets, Trump called Corker a “lightweight,” he called him “incompetent,” and he mocked his height by once again calling him “Liddle Bob Corker.” So, looks like the first lady’s anti-bullying initiative still has a ways to go. –James Corden

At one point, Corker told reporters that Trump’s legacy will be “the debasement of our nation.” Yeah, debasement. As in, when Trump starts a war, I’ll be hiding in de basement. –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Even worse, 30 percent of the crows still think the Trump scarecrow is doing a great job

President Trump and Republican Sen. Bob Corker are in a feud after Corker compared the White House to a day care center. When they heard this, 3-year-olds everywhere said, “Oh no — do not lump us in with that guy.” –Conan O’Brien

A California elementary school is under fire for putting up a Donald Trump scarecrow. Even worse, 30 percent of the crows still think the Trump scarecrow is doing a great job. –Conan O’Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Trump was so mad, he squeezed his juice box (bad role models)

Everybody’s talking about this big feud between President Trump and Republican Sen. Bob Corker. They were fighting AGAIN. Today, Corker said that Trump is a bad role model for children. And Trump said, “Not true! I’ve even proven that a child can be elected president!” –Jimmy Fallon

Corker also tweeted about Trump’s behavior and said, “Alert the day care staff.” Trump was so mad, he squeezed his juice box, and it went all over his tie. –Jimmy Fallon

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Clear & Present Danger (Cliffs Notes Man of the Year)

"This Saturday, President Bush will be on hand in Washington to celebrate the Seventh Annual National Book Festival. The president's very excited about the festival, because he's been named Cliffs Notes Man of the Year." --Conan O'Brien

"Vice President Cheney was recently asked who's going to win the 2008 presidential election, and he said it could go either way. So I guess he means Larry Craig"  --Conan O'Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

she just found a joint in her son’s Bible (harvest time)

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders today said that President Trump’s comment that he has a higher IQ than Secretary of State Rex Tillerson was a joke and told reporters they should “get a sense of humor.” They should get a sense of humor? You’re the one who always looks like she just found a joint in her son’s Bible. –Seth Meyers

A CNN anchor said yesterday that Sen. Bob Corker’s recent criticism of President Trump was his way of “planting seeds” to call into question Trump’s fitness for office. You’re just now planting seeds? I think it’s harvest time. –Seth Meyers

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

I'm sharing news from the White House (Wait, what's consent?)

So, Donny made fun of little Bobby Corker for being short. If you're just joining us, no, I'm not reporting things my 6-year-old saw on the playground today. I'm sharing news from the White House. –James Corden

In that tweet, Trump insinuates that the New York Times set up Bob Corker by recording him, but the transcript actually shows that they had Corker's full consent. When Trump heard that, he said, “Wait, what's consent?” –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Imagine how brave Trump must be (nickname for his iPhone)

There's a lot to talk about — full docket tonight — ‘because this weekend brought us another bumper crop of Trump, a Trumper crop. Was it Sunday? On Sunday, Trump went after fellow Republican, Tennessee senator, and man reading the dollar menu, Bob Corker. You see, last Wednesday, Corker uncorked about how badly Trump needs his advisers. I’m pretty sure “Chaos” is Trump’s nickname for his iPhone. –Stephen Colbert

In response, Trump tweeted: “Senator Bob Corker ‘begged’ me to endorse him for re-election in Tennessee. I said ‘NO,’ and he dropped out— said he could not win without. . . my endorsement. He also wanted to be secretary of state, I said 'no thanks.' He is also largely responsible for the horrendous Iran deal!” “Also, and this is unforgivable, last year he worked very hard to get me elected. Thanks, Bob.” “Really, so good. He worked so hard. So amazing. I love you, Bob. Go to hell.” But at least he was able to get this off his chest and move on to more important . . . hence, I would fully expect Corker to be a negative voice and stand in the way of our great agenda. Didn’t have the guts to run!” Yeah, Corker doesn't have the guts to run. And he’s qualified. Imagine how brave Trump must be. –Stephen Colbert

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

all bribe money has to be in a clear plastic bag (Time to Abort)

      

Republican Senator Bob Corker is continuing to escalate his feud with President Trump, telling The New York Times that Trump is on the path to World War III. Said Trump, “I have bone spurs, I can't go to World War III, I have bone spurs in my foot. Oh, you got to get me out of this. It's my right foot — no my left — it doesn't matter. I can’t go — my feet — it’s my feet! They’re all wrong!” –Seth Meyers

    

"This week senators passed a limited ethics bill. It's something congress knows a lot about. Limited ethics. Some of the new rules are pretty tough, like from now on, all bribe money has to be in a clear plastic bag." --Jay Leno

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

On The Apprentice only one person got fired per week (kiss-cam/WORRY)

But then late Sunday morning, Bob Corker gave an interview and he said it concerned him that Trump runs the White House “like he’s doing ‘The Apprentice.’” Again, not entirely accurate. On “The Apprentice” only one person got fired per week. –James Corden

In other White House news — I'm sure you saw this — yesterday Vice President Mike Pence attended the Indianapolis Colts game for about 15 minutes. Pence left at the beginning of the game in protest to football players kneeling during the national anthem. Now let’s be honest, Pence would have left anyway as soon as he saw an unmarried couple on the kiss-cam. –James Corden

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Environmental Polluters Agency (Fixed It!)

  

Harvey Weinstein was fired by his company yesterday for being accused of sexual harassment. Not good. They said if he keeps it up, he’ll wind up with his own show on Fox News. –Jimmy Fallon

     

On Sunday Republican Sen. Bob Corker got into a Twitter feud with President Trump that ended with Corker posting, “It's a shame the White House has become an adult day care center. Someone obviously missed their shift this morning.” It is funny, but Corker’s tweet is not entirely accurate. A day care center would imply that someone there is actually in charge. –James Corden

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans