If Bush had gotten bin Laden, he would have spent his whole second term in a Batman costume (Fight the Rich, NOT Their Wars)

"Could you imagine what Bush would have done if he had gotten bin Laden? I mean, this is a guy who played dress-up and land on boats. If Bush had gotten bin Laden, he would have spent his whole second term in a Batman costume." –Bill Maher

"President Obama said he was evolving and then he came out for gay marriage. Conservatives, of course, are furious – not about the gay thing, about evolution." –Bill Maher

"New Rule, Newt Gingrich cannot end his campaign, as he did, by calling it a 'wild ride.' Seeing how he looks exactly like Mr. Toad. Oh, in fairness, there’s a difference between Newt’s campaign and Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. One twists and turns through fantasy-land and makes you want to throw up. And the other one is at Disneyland." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

if there's one name that comes to mind when you're in a no-room-for-error crisis, it's George W. Bush (sustainable business models)

"But congratulations to John McCain, he wrapped up the Republican nomination this week. And we know this is official now because Mike Huckabee dropped out and said he was joining forces with John McCain. Oh, great, you've got one guy who doesn't believe in evolution, and another guy who remembers it." --Bill Maher

"As if all this news is not bad enough, today, President Bush announced he's on the case. Because if there's one name that comes to mind when you're in a no-room-for-error crisis, it's George Bush." --Bill Maher

"How many saw the Republican debate last night? Wow! Mitt Romney last night in Florida played the p---- card against the Clintons. It's only January and he's not even the candidate. He said the idea of Bill Clinton back in the White House with nothing to do. Now that is a man who wants to be president. He is telling the Republican base, 'You know what? These other posers up here with me, they may have forgotten about the sauce on the blue dress, but I, Ward Cleaver, have not. I am Mitt Romney, Mormon android and I will say whatever you program me to say. I will run on a platform of stopping illegal immigrants from having sex with Bill Clinton until the surge has succeeded.'" --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

not about the gay thing, about evolution/Now they want to be paid in Euros/America's taint

"President Obama said he was evolving and then he came out for gay marriage. Conservatives, of course, are furious – not about the gay thing, about evolution." –Bill Maher

"Defense Secretary Robert Gates said the other day that the prison at Guantanamo Bay has become a taint on the reputation of America. And that's what the Bush administration will always be remembered as -- America's taint." --Bill Maher

 

"Morgan Stanley today was looking for a merger partner on eHarmony. I'm telling you. You know these Sunni militias in Iraq that we are bribing not to shoot at us? Now they want to be paid in Euros." --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'm pretty sure Colin Powell went without makeup a lot (The REAL Pyramid Scheme)

May 2012

"President Obama came out with approval of same-sex marriage. He said that over the years, he has been going through an evolution on the issue. That makes opponents on the far right doubly angry. They don't believe in gay marriage OR evolution." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Tomorrow Obama happens to have a fundraising dinner at George Clooney's house. Very interesting. I think they are getting married!" –Jimmy Kimmel

"North Carolina voted to approve an amendment that specifically defines marriage as between a man and a woman, which makes no sense because they let 'Dawson's Creek' shoot there for years." –Jimmy Kimmel 

"Hillary Clinton is making headlines now for nonpolitical reasons. She attended a number of public events without makeup on. Is that a big deal? I'm pretty sure Colin Powell went without makeup a lot." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Because if a single human proves that America is asking for it, you're looking at him (You gotta believe in video tape)

 "You gotta love Sarah Palin. She is now on her website asking her idiot fan base for donations for her to help make a decision about whether or not to run. She wants money now for just thinking? What a grifter." –Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin's doppelganger, Michele Bachmann, they asked her at the debate about the HPV vaccine, which she said was potentially dangerous. She said, 'I didn't make that claim, nor did I make that statement. Which she obviously did, we have it. It's one thing to say you don't believe in evolution, you don't believe in global warming. But videotape? You gotta believe in video tape." –Bill Maher

"The next time you hear anyone say 'job creator,' I want you to picture [The Situation from Jersey Shore]. Yes, The Situation made $5 million dollars last year, and if he has to pay a little more in taxes, it won't mean he's creating fewer jobs. It will mean a tiny fraction of his money actually pays for the government that works to keep him alive. The EPA that contains his oil runoff. The Postal Service that delivers his body wax. The Bureau of Weights and Measures who weigh his dumbbells. The Centers for Disease Control that provides a steady supply of penicillin. And the military, who keep the Taliban away. Because if a single human proves that America is asking for it, you're looking at him." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

So maybe our next war could be a musical (It was consensual)

September 2011

"Gays are now allowed to serve openly in the military. So maybe our next war could be a musical." –David Letterman

"The meeting of the U.N. General Assembly is going well this year. So far we haven't heard one of them yell, 'It was consensual!'" –David Letterman

"Since when does math settle anything? Like evolution, I believe math is just a theory." –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They prefer to be called a faith-based lynch mob (I've got your back brother)

September 2011

“I’ve been watching the Republican debates. I watched these eight clowns on the stage and at the end I wanted to raise my hand and say, ‘I don’t believe in evolution.” –Bill Maher

“Rick Perry is the frontrunner and they love him because he's authentic. You got to give him that. He is a real asshole.” –Bill Maher

“Are you watching these debates? Yes, the politicians are bad, but the people who egg them on. There are these crowds cheering for executions, cheering for letting people without health insurance die. In today’s Republican party, there's a term for people who hate charity and love killing: Christian. These are Christians? They prefer to be called a faith-based lynch mob.” –Bill Maher

“Rick Perry said, 'I only took $5,000 from Merck. Are you saying I can be bought for $5,000? I'm offended.’ This is how degraded our politics are. How dare you call me a cheap whore. I will have you know I'm a high-priced whore.” –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

confusion over the First Amendment (acknowledging evolution)

"Last night on 'Dancing With the Stars,' Bristol Palin came out dressed in a gorilla costume. They say this is the closest a member of the Palin family has ever come to acknowledging evolution.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“How can you not know about the separation of church and state? Someone get this woman a copy of Schoolhouse Rock because this is ridiculous. Apparently they don’t teach the Constitution at Hogwarts.” –Jimmy Kimmel, on Christine O'Donnell's confusion over the First Amendment

"Apparently the Octomom still has 29 frozen embryos, which is almost enough to give one to each Chilean miner. I think it’s time for President Obama to build a border fence around the Octomom’s uterus." –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The ice cream truck in my neighborhood plays Helter Skelter (Zombie Speaker of the House)

I was cesarean born. You can't really tell. Although whenever I leave a house I go out through the window. --Steven Wright

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. --Steven Wright

The ice cream truck in my neighborhood plays Helter Skelter. --Steven Wright

I was hitchhiking and within three minutes I got picked up by one of those huge trailer trucks carrying 20 brand new cars. The driver opened the door and the guy said he didn't have much room in there so he told me to get into one of the new cars he was hauling. So I did. Apparently he was really in to picking up people because he picked up 19 more people and we all had our own cars. Unfortunately he was also into speeding. He was going 90 miles an hour and we all got speeding tickets. --Steven Wright

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

it's perfect for the Muslim woman who loves to swim, but hates being stoned to death (exit strategy)

"President Bush is still on the road trying to drum up support for his new Iraq program. Earlier today, he was on 'The View.' He was drunk. This time, Bush has an exit strategy for the Iraq war. In January of 2009, he will escape to Crawford, Texas." --David Letterman

"Republican Congressman Tom Tancredo announced he's thinking about running for president and is now forming an exploratory committee. So far, the only member of the committee is someone named Tom Tancredo." --Conan O'Brien

"According to a new international survey, people in the United States believe in evolution less than any other industrial country. When asked why they don't believe in evolution, Americans said, 'Kevin Federline.'" --Conan O'Brien

"This week, a new swimsuit for Muslim women was introduced called the 'burqini,' which is a stylish water safe burka meant for swimming. The manufacturer says it's perfect for the Muslim woman who loves to swim, but hates being stoned to death." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

you often don't hear Bush's name mentioned in libraries (radicals living in the Dark Ages)

"The candidates came prepared. Rudy Giuliani, of course, brought his energy; McCain brought his experience; Mitt Romney brought his charm; Mike Huckabee brought his name tag." --Jay Leno, on the Republican debate

"My favorite part of the debate was when Chris Matthews asked, 'Who does not believe in evolution?' And Sam Brownback, Mike Huckabee and Tom Tancredo all raised their paw. They said they do not believe in evolution. Then they said the biggest threat to America is religious radicals living in the Dark Ages. " --Jay Leno

"At the Reagan Library last night, President Bush's name was only mentioned once in the entire debate. But to be fair, you often don't hear Bush's name mentioned in libraries." --Jay Leno

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

the first step in distancing yourself from President Bush is... (stronger, fitter campaigns)

"The first Republican debate was held at the Reagan Presidential Library. The candidates tried to distance themselves from President Bush. Apparently, the first step in distancing yourself from President Bush is appearing at a library."--Conan O'Brien

"Sam Brownback, Mike Huckabee and Tom Tancredo -- those were the three guys who said they do not believe in evolution. The irony will be on them when their campaigns die off in favor of stronger, fitter campaigns." --Bill Maher

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

three of the ten candidates said they did not believe in evolution (Dora the Exploder)

"Hamas has started a new children's show, which features Farfur, a Mickey Mouse knock-off who teaches Islamic radicalism and hatred toward America and Israel. Farfur replaces the network's previous children's show, Dora the Exploder." --Seth Meyers

"During last week's Republican debate, three of the ten candidates said they did not believe in evolution, including Kansas Senator Sam Brownback, who added that he would defend his conviction from one edge of the Earth to the other." --Seth Meyers

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

And this is the guy who doubts that he descended from an ape (the Cheney attitude)

"At a press conference somebody finally stood up to Bush ... a bird sh*t on him. Here's what is wrong with this man: he looked at it, and then wiped it off with his bare hand! And this is the guy who doubts that he descended from an ape." --Bill Maher

"The Iraq funding bill that set a date for troop withdrawal, that's all gone by the wayside. The Democrats just backed down, as they always do, but they did it with flare this time. They met on an aircraft carrier and they had a big banner that said, 'Mission Abandoned!'" --Bill Maher

"Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter gave birth this week. Apparently this little baby has the Cheney attitude. The doctor spanked it and it said 'Go f*ck yourself." --Bill Maher

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

The moron trifecta

"Republicans' Thanksgiving is a little different; before eating they go around the table and everybody says what they're hateful for." –Bill Maher



"There are these people they're calling 'debt ceiling deniers' – Republicans who have decided that, unlike every economist on the entire planet, maybe defaulting on our debt would be a good thing. First they didn't believe in evolution, then they didn't believe in global warming, and now the debt ceiling; what I like to call the 'moron trifecta.'" –Bill Maher



"Here's the idea: Step 1, stop paying our bills. Step 2, everything's fine. The last guy who tried this was Wesley Snipes." –Bill Maher 

I'm pretty sure Colin Powell went without makeup a lot

"In the last year, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s approval rating has gone up 12 points. That's impressive. Usually, the only time he picks up a dozen is when he goes to Krispy Kreme." –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama came out with approval of same-sex marriage. He said that over the years, he has been going through an evolution on the issue. That makes opponents on the far right doubly angry. They don't believe in gay marriage OR evolution." –Jimmy Kimmel  

"Hillary Clinton is making headlines now for nonpolitical reasons. She attended a number of public events without makeup on. Is that a big deal? I'm pretty sure Colin Powell went without makeup a lot." –Jimmy Kimmel 

John Hulse painting