It was reported that President Trump is doing nothing right now but angrily fuming, eating, and watching TV. In other words, it sounds like Trump is turning into a Trump voter. --Conan O’Brien
Former House Speaker John Boehner has joined the board of a marijuana company and today he said his "thinking on cannabis has evolved." That can only mean really one thing: His grandson showed him how to use a bong. --Conan O’Brien
DEA officials have seized 500 pounds of meth concealed inside Disney figurines, which explains why Goofy is missing all but two teeth. --Conan O’Brien
A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

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