It could have survived, but apparently it had a pre-existing condition (Our patience is growing thin)

"Not such a great day for healthcare reform. The so-called public option died on the Senate floor today. It could have survived, but apparently it had a pre-existing condition." –Craig Ferguson

"Police in Texas seized thousands of ecstasy tablets with pictures of Obama's face on them. Drug dealers chose Obama because the pills make you feel hope and change and then send you off to a faraway place." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

However, his wife's vote can be overruled by a simple majority of his mistresses (I'm Lovin' It)

"Herman Cain is scheduled to make a big announcement tomorrow. He says if his wife wants him to quit the race, he will quit the race. However, his wife's vote can be overruled by a simple majority of his mistresses." –Craig Ferguson

"Not such a great day for health care reform. The so-called public option died on the Senate floor today. It could have survived, but apparently it had a pre-existing condition." –Craig Ferguson

"Police in Texas seized thousands of ecstasy tablets with pictures of Obama's face on them. Drug dealers chose Obama because the pills make you feel hope and change and then send you off to a faraway place." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Give us a warning before you post that **** (Giving birth to a baby wearing a crown is very hard)

"The rain is giving much needed relief to California's crops. By that I mean 'marijuana.'" -Craig Ferguson

"Prince William and his lovely bride are pregnant. Buckingham Palace announced Kate is pregnant. They've been married for a year and a half. That's like five marriages for a Kardashian. Kate is said to be very nervous about giving birth. Giving birth to a baby wearing a crown is very hard." –Craig Ferguson

"You know who sang at Rush Limbaugh's wedding? Elton John! According to Rush, gay people can sing at weddings. Just not their own." –Craig Ferguson

"Herman Cain is scheduled to make a big announcement tomorrow. He says if his wife wants him to quit the race, he will quit the race. However, his wife's vote can be overruled by a simple majority of his mistresses." –Craig Ferguson

"Police in Texas seized thousands of ecstasy tablets with pictures of Obama's face on them. Drug dealers chose Obama because the pills make you feel hope and change and then send you off to a faraway place." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Dude, dude, no don’t leave a paper trail! (career implosion)

April 2021

“Let’s talk about the 'career implosion' of the Florida congressman Matt Gaetz, a longtime Trump lackey now under investigation by the justice department for violating federal sex trafficking laws. According to federal investigators, Gaetz, 38, paid for travel expenses for a 17-year-old girl with whom he allegedly had a sexual relationship (Gaetz has denied this and claimed ‘extortion’). The investigation was opened several months ago by Trump’s then attorney general, William Barr. 

Gaetz-Gaete, also includes the congressman’s longtime friend Joel Greenberg, who was indicted last summer on several charges, including sex trafficking of a child and financially supporting people in exchange for sex. According to the Washington Post, Gaetz is said to have boasted that his friend procured several women for him and that they sometimes shared sexual partners. 

Sounds risky, but remember: Gaetz always wears protection. Remember when Gaetz wore a gas mask in the Capitol in one of his many attention-grabbing stunts. The justice department alleges that Gaetz and Greenberg paid for hotel rooms for women, where the group took ecstasy before having sex. Now, if you’re unfamiliar with ecstasy, it’s the feeling you get when you hear bad news about Matt Gaetz. 

Gaetz has denied the allegations, though reporters for the New York Times have seen receipts to the women from CashApp and Apple Pay. How dumb is Matt Gaetz? Dude, dude, no don’t leave a paper trail! Use the CashApp that way it goes all up in the cloud, and then when it rains, the evidence disappears. 

Gaetz also reportedly bragged about his sexual exploits, including showing nude photos of women to colleagues, on the House floor. Remember, this is where he works. So those mandatory sexual harassment trainings your office holds where the examples they give are all so outrageous you’re like, ‘Who is this possibly for?’ It’s for Matt Gaetz.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

they were auditioning to be on one of those sleep apps (I left a voice mail on Ecstasy in 1997)

February 2021

“It’s the first time in history a president has been impeached a second time. Trump incited and cheered on a violent mob that breached the Capitol for the first time in 200 years, and injured 140 police officers in an attempt to overthrow democracy. You’d think Trump’s lawyers would be a little more prepared. Instead, they meandered aimlessly like they were auditioning to be on one of those sleep apps.” —Seth Meyers

“I left a voice mail on Ecstasy in 1997 that made more sense than Trump’s lawyers did.” —Seth Meyers

“Trump’s lawyers never addressed key issues. They went off on meandering tangents. One guy cried while reading a poem. It was going so badly for the Republicans, I thought Ted Cruz was going to start another insurrection just to change the subject.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

What is Dick Cheney doing in Toledo, Ohio? (also known as We the People)

"This week, America's last living World War I veteran — a man named Frank Buckles, 108 years old — he said he would like to see a memorial in Washington, D.C. You know, when he gets back from Afghanistan." –Jay Leno

"Well, here's a very bizarre story. People act strangely this time of year. In Toledo, Ohio, a man attacked a Salvation Army bell ringer, grabbed his red kettle, threw it in the back of his truck, yelled, 'I hate Christmas,' and drove off. Here's my question. What is Dick Cheney doing in Toledo, Ohio?" –Jay Leno

"Police in Texas seized thousands of ecstasy tablets with pictures of Obama's face on them. Drug dealers chose Obama because the pills make you feel hope and change and then send you off to a faraway place." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the only reason he even drank it was to wash down the three hits of ecstasy (Pancake Channel)

"He sat down for a one-on-one with Fox News. Very bold choice. Dick Cheney sitting down with Fox News is like Mrs. Butterworth sitting down with the Pancake Channel." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Cheney says he feels terrible about what happened. The man he shot was his friend and if he could, he'd give him the central processing unit right out of his own heart to make up for it." --Jimmy Kimmel

There was some talk that the vice president had been drinking before he went out to shoot and it turns out that was true. Cheney said he did have a beer during lunch. One beer, and the only reason he even drank it was to wash down the three hits of ecstasy." --Jimmy Kimmel