the record for most circling vultures (Nut up)

New research shows that childhood peanut allergies have declined over 40% in recent years due to earlier exposure to peanuts, which was exactly the goal of my health campaign "Nut up, kids!” —Colin Jost

An 80-year-old woman set a record for oldest female to hike the Appalachian Trail, and also the record for most circling vultures. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

OK, OK, it’s pot (she just takes some Benadryl and they’re all deleted)

Scientists have discovered a painkiller that will not cause addiction. When asked for details about this miracle drug, scientists said, "OK, OK, it’s pot." –Conan O’Brien

According to Hillary Clinton’s newly-released medical records, she suffers from seasonal allergies. But she just takes some Benadryl and they’re all deleted. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is good news for every single show except Dog the Bounty Hunter (nut allergies)

"Yesterday, North Korea held its annual marathon. Congratulations to first, second and third place winner, Kim Jong Un." –Conan O'Brien

We're here in San Diego for Comic-Con. Comic-Con is the only place where you can meet a Superman whose kryptonite is his nut allergy. –Conan O’Brien

Scientists are predicting that in a few years we'll be able to smell the TV shows we watch. This is good news for every single show except "Dog the Bounty Hunter." --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Alexa, who paid the highest criminal fine in United States history? (I said that's my final offer)

An Australian man was arrested for stealing $100,000 worth of bull semen. It was valued at $100,000 after I said that's my final offer. —Greg Gutfeld

Meanwhile new data suggests Kamala Harris’s trouncing in 2024 could have been far worse if more people had voted. So if the Dems had worked harder to get out the vote they would have gotten fewer votes. Turns out their biggest enemies are their own policies, candidates and party. They're like a cat who's allergic to cats. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But she just takes some Benadryl and they’re all deleted (noodle package/Poundland)

It’s been reported that the biggest currency in prison now is not cigarettes, but ramen. Just make sure to clarify the next time your cellmate asks to hold your noodle package. –Conan O’Brien

According to Hillary Clinton’s newly-released medical records, she suffers from seasonal allergies. But she just takes some Benadryl and they’re all deleted. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

They’ve been charged with two counts of "Deserving each other." (nut allergies)

We're here in San Diego for Comic-Con. Comic-Con is the only place where you can meet a Superman whose kryptonite is his nut allergy. –Conan O’Brien

A couple in North Carolina was arrested for attacking each other with pizza rolls. They’ve been charged with two counts of "Deserving each other." –Conan O’Brien

"A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE a smartphone." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”