"After 16 days of competition, the closing ceremony for
the Winter Olympics is this Sunday. Vladimir Putin was like, 'It has been fun
time, and I'm sad to see everyone escape . . . I mean, get away . . . I mean,
go home.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Yesterday New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was asked
about the slow pace of his weight loss and said, quote, 'Rome was not un-built
in a day.' In fact, Christie and Rome have a lot in common: one was built by
Julius Caesar, and the other was built by LITTLE Caesar." –Jimmy Fallon
"A girl
in San Francisco actually sold Girl Scout cookies at a medical marijuana clinic
this week. Which is why today she bought a mansion and retired." –Jimmy
Fallon
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