"Let's
name the Pope's favorite movies. There's 'Holy Ghost Busters.' 'Dude, Where's
My Cardinal?' 'Sistine Candles.' 'Amen in Black.' 'Live and Let Diocese.' 'A
Pew Good Men.' And 'How to Train Your Deacon.'" –Craig Ferguson
"It seems like everybody's weighing in on the situation.
In fact, Senator John McCain has released a list of 11 steps he thinks the
White House should take to punish Russia. Usually when McCain takes 11 steps,
he uses a stair lift." –Jimmy Fallon
"President Obama released his March Madness bracket this
morning, picking Michigan State to win the tournament. In response, Vladimir
Putin started moving troops into Gonzaga." –Seth Meyers
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