The only thing that was glowing what John Boehner's face

"A judge in New Jersey ruled that women can keep their husbands and boyfriends out of the delivery room while they are in labor. When asked if they'd mind leaving the room, husbands and boyfriends were already gone." –Jimmy Fallon

"It was so dark in Washington that when the power went out the only thing that was glowing what John Boehner's face." –David Letterman



"As soon as the lights in Washington went out, Senator John McCain tried to clap them back on." –David Letterman