That’s like if a capitalist made a hospital everybody could afford (Did you cheat on your wife with Trump?)

New York’s primary elections, which saw Democratic socialists win two House positions and several state seats this week. While every election has its winners and losers, there was one guy who came out on top last night, who wasn’t even on the ballot, and it was Mayor Zohran Mamdani. All three candidates backed by the mayor won their races, leading one commentator to call him a “kingmaker”. A socialist making kings? That’s crazy! That’s like if a capitalist made a hospital everybody could afford. —Josh Johnson 

President Trump has thrown his weight behind the Texas senate nominee Ken Paxton, who has been involved in several political scandals over the past decade, with accusations of bribery, fraud and abuse of office. Last year, his wife filed for divorce on “biblical grounds” after reports that Paxton had been unfaithful. Biblical grounds? I’ve never heard that before. Imagine showing up to your divorce with a Bible, going, ‘He committed all the sins.’ Paxton has gushed about his “love” for Trump, saying “every time I’m around him, it’s infectious.” That’s a weird way to describe your relationship. Did you cheat on your wife with Trump? —Josh Johnson 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey, AI, can you start Monday? (which you could get in three sizes: poodle, doberman and JD Vance)

Jon Stewart replayed some footage from the chaos during the attack at the White House correspondents dinner, with clips of people grabbing bottles of alcohol for themselves and one man continuing to calmly eat his salad as Secret Service agents rushed to evacuate the president and thwart the attacker. “There have been times I have been very worried about artificial intelligence and whether or not it’s going to replace us. And then there are other times where I think, ‘Hey, AI, can you start Monday?’ —Jon Stewart

On the Daily Show, Josh Johnson also recapped the state visit from King Charles, the “the world’s oldest nepo baby” to Congress, because “even though our country is falling apart right now, it’s also our 250th birthday. So no matter how sad the party is going to be, our friends are still coming over. Then on the ride home they’ll be like: ‘She is a rough 250.’ —Josh Johnson

“Donald Trump desperately wants to be a king. We all know this. He loves pageantry and fanfare and putting his face and name on everything. His official store sells everything from Trump golf balls to Trump beer koozies to Trump pickleball paddles to Trump dog collars, which you could get in three sizes: poodle, doberman and JD Vance.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Keep doing what you’re not doing (Operation Why Does My Back Hurt?)

On The Daily Show, Josh Johnson looked at the deployment of federal agents in US airports plagued by long lines, thanks to the partial government shutdown. “The good news is that Trump sent people to help TSA. The bad news is those people are ICE. You’re telling me ICE agents are showing up to the airport and doing absolutely nothing? Well then it’s my honor to present the award for Most Improved Agency. To ICE, he said: You’re not doing anything, and honestly thank God! Keep doing what you’re not doing.” — Josh Johnson

The army also just raised its maximum recruitment age to 42, up from 35, in an effort to draw more recruits. Oh shit. We’re letting 42-year-olds sign up for the military now? They’re going to have to change the name from Operation Epic Fury to Operation Why Does My Back Hurt? —Josh Johnson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”