"Now
Rob Ford is going to rehab. He didn't necessarily want to go to rehab but he
has to go to rehab because he promised he would go to rehab. It's like a George
Clooney engagement." –David Letterman
"On Saturday, Chris Christie
tweeted that he had a colonoscopy just hours before he went to the White House
Correspondents Dinner. Yeah, that's what you want to see at a dinner — Chris
Christie after he wasn't able to eat for 24 hours." –Jimmy Fallon
"Vladimir Putin has signed a
new law banning the F-word from movies. Now the Russian version of 'Wolf of
Wall Street' is eight seconds long. You sit down and it's over." –Conan
O'Brien
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