She asked that exact same question when she interviewed William Howard Taft (1% Republican)

December 2012

"The Golden Globe nominations were announced yesterday morning, and 'Lincoln' got seven nominations. Finally, a Republican who might win something." –Jay Leno

"On Wednesday night, Barbara Walters asked Governor Chris Christie if he was too fat to be president. A lot of people are criticizing Barbara for asking that question. But in fairness, Barbara asked that exact same question when she interviewed William Howard Taft." –Jay Leno

"Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said a failure to reach a deal for the fiscal cliff will hurt the recovery. The good news is most Americans will not be affected by this because they had no idea there WAS a recovery." –Jay Leno

"The U.S. Census Bureau says that by the year 2043, white people will be in the minority in the United States. By that time, the country will be 15 percent black, 31 percent Hispanic, and 1 percent Republican." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Top Ten Little-Known Facts About United States Presidents (he's considered our 27th and 28th presidents)

David Letterman's Top Ten Little-Known Facts About United States Presidents

10. William Howard Taft was so fat, he's considered our 27th and 28th presidents

9. Teddy Roosevelt answered the phone, 'Hellosevelt?'

8. The K in James K. Polk stood for Kanye

7. Like the cartoon cat, James A. Garfield loved lasagna and hated Mondays

6. To conserve energy when possible, Jimmy Carter would travel via pogo stick

5. During one of his fireside chats, FDR accidentally burned down the map room

4. John Tyler was the only president to work his way up from the mailroom

3. Zachary Taylor's vice president was a cocker spaniel named Angus

2. Our only unmarried president, James Buchanan was fond of posing as his own first lady

1. George W. Bush was not born in the United States

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

kick back and not worry about getting anything done? Oh, wait (eating it anyway)

"It's not fun to be president. Half the country hates you and the other half is disappointed in you. I know exactly what that's like." –Craig Ferguson

"President Taft was so fat that before he was elected to the Oval Office it was square." –Craig Ferguson

"I'm glad we have a day for the presidents, but shouldn't we have a day for Congress when the Senate and the House can kick back and not worry about getting anything done? Oh, wait." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Bed, Bath & Obviously Guilty (racist breakfast cereal)

“Donald Trump spent all day having his friends tell everyone how not racist he is. You know, like nonracists do.” --Stephen Colbert

The big story as we all know is that people are still talking about was Trump’s tweet about four freshman congress women racist? Well, I say, if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably just told the geese to go back to Canada. --Stephen Colbert

Last night the House of Representatives passed a resolution condemning Trump for his racist comments. That’s right, Mr. President. A formal condemnation! You watch your step, mister. Or next they will hit you with a notarized complaint and boom, a ceremonial rebuke. Fun fact, this is the first time that a sitting president has been censured by either House since 1912, when they censured William Howard Taft for eating a congressional page. --Stephen Colbert

There’s one big story we haven’t talked about since coming back from our break and it’s about millionaire financier, and a guy with a walk-in closet just for his skeletons, Jeffrey Epstein. Epstein was recently arrested and accused of sex trafficking of minors. It is a disturbing story and there is a mountain of evidence that this guy is guilty. Dozens of women have come forward, pornographic images were found in his home, and we learned that to cover his tracks, he shipped himself a large paper shredder and a carpet and tile extractor. Yeah, he bought them at Bed, Bath & Obviously Guilty. --Stephen Colbert

Of course, Trump is still dealing with the fallout from his racist tweets, which became a racist chant, which will soon be a racist breakfast cereal. --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

She was very instrumental in helping to elect William Howard Taft (7/11 commandment)

"Hillary Clinton was on 'The View' the other day. She was asking Barbara Walters for advice. A lot of people might not know this, but Barbara Walters was very instrumental in helping to elect William Howard Taft." --Jay Leno

"Republican frontrunner Rudy Giuliani  says he's going to try to follow Ronald Reagan's 11th commandment that a Republican should never attack another Republican. Let's hope Rudy has better luck with the 11th commandment than he did with the 7th commandment." --Jay Leno

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Maybe he’s worried his hands are too small to palm a baseball (those turkeys better run)

Today we learned that Trump is violating another norm because he won’t throw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals’ opening day. I don’t know why. Maybe he’s worried his hands are too small to palm a baseball. –Stephen Colbert

Since Taft, every president, other than Jimmy Carter, has thrown out the first pitch of the season opener. For God’s sake. That means FDR did it! Let that sink in! Not only did FDR beat Hitler in World War II, he also struck him out. –Stephen Colbert

Here we go, America! Trump won’t throw out the first pitch. What else? He won’t go to the Correspondents’ Dinner. He won’t release his tax returns. He won’t put his business in a blind trust. He doesn’t want to live in D.C. What presidential tradition will Trump abandon next? This Thanksgiving, those turkeys better run. –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Uncle Sam Wants You ... Bad

"This week, the U.S. Army removed several recruiting ads from a web site because the web site targets homosexual men. The ad said, 'Uncle Sam Wants You ... Bad.'" --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush met with the Dalai Lama yesterday. It was a good meeting. The Dalai Lama taught President Bush how to meditate, and President Bush taught the Dalai Lama how to just nod off at meetings." --Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton was on 'The View' the other day. She was asking Barbara Walters for advice. A lot of people might not know this, but Barbara Walters was very instrumental in helping to elect William Howard Taft." --Jay Leno

"Republican frontrunner  Rudy Giuliani  says he's going to try to follow Ronald Reagan's 11th commandment that a Republican should never attack another Republican. Let's hope he has better luck with the 11th commandment than he did with the 7th commandment." --Jay Leno

Santa released 10 years of tax returns

"On Wednesday night, Barbara Walters asked Governor Chris Christie if he was too fat to be president. A lot of people are criticizing Barbara for asking that question. But in fairness, Barbara asked that exact same question when she interviewed William Howard Taft." –Jay Leno



"The U.S. Census Bureau says that by the year 2043, white people will be in the minority in the United States. By that time, the country will be 15 percent black, 31 percent Hispanic, and 1 percent Republican." –Jay Leno



"Christmas is just around the corner. It's just under two weeks away, and today Santa released 10 years of tax returns." –David Letterman