If he can’t be the next Republican president, he’d be perfectly happy to be the last Republican president (like Marty McFly in Back to the Future)

December 2022

“There is Republican bafflement and frustration over Herschel Walker’s defeat in the Georgia runoff election. Sean Hannity, for example, seemed ‘utterly mystified’ as to why Republicans were more hesitant to vote early or by mail than Democrats, saying on Fox News: ‘I think Republicans have been unwilling for whatever reason – reluctant, resistant – to voting early and voting by mail.’ Dammit, if only we knew who was responsible. Who in the Republican party has spent years relentlessly and obsessively harping on mail-in voting as a corrupt way to rig elections? It’s so funny how they just have to pretend they can’t remember a single thing Donald Trump said over the last like six years,” he continued. “We’re at the point where they’re going to start acting like they had no idea who Donald Trump is. He’s going to fade out of all his photos with Hannity like Marty McFly in Back to the Future.” —Seth Meyers

“Republicans are dancing around Trump and bending over backwards not to pin the blame on him because they’re still afraid of him. They all know that Donald Trump doesn’t care one iota about the future of the Republican party. He only cares about Donald Trump. They’re terrified that even if they beat him in a primary, he will do everything in his power to burn it all down and make life miserable for whoever the GOP nominee is. If he can’t be the next Republican president, he’d be perfectly happy to be the last Republican president.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

A woman's place is in her Union (slippers that come with the robe)

October 2022

“Kanye West will be banned from the Ed Sullivan theater following his antisemitic comments. On Wednesday, the disgraced rapper, who was dropped from his lucrative deal with Adidas, was removed from the Skechers headquarters in Los Angeles after an unannounced visit. In five years, the idea of unannounced visit from Kanye has gone from ‘amazing!’ to ‘sir, you need to leave this Skechers.’ Unlike with Adidas, West never had a business deal with Skechers – apparently Kanye is so desperate, he’s just driving around searching Google Maps for ‘shoes near me.’ At this point, he’s going to have to set his sights lower and become the celebrity spokesman for ‘slippers that come with the robe.’” —Stephen Colbert

“Looking ahead to the upcoming midterm elections, for which Joe Biden is doing everything he can to push his party over the top. Now, he’s reaching out to your average Joe six-cylinder by playing up his car-guy persona, hoping his gearhead reputation will appeal to the Republican base. Yes, with the fate of our nation at stake, the Democrats have a plan: Republicans. Biden even went on Jay Leno’s Garage, where the two men drove a 1978 F-100 pickup converted to all-electric which Biden described as ‘quiet as hell’. They might want to add some sound, actually, because you know what sounds dangerous? A completely silent 44-year-old truck driven by a grandpa who hasn’t been behind the wheel in two years.” —Stephen Colbert

“President Biden also drove his 1967 corvette at 118mph for a drag race with the son of the late secretary of state Colin Powell. Any faster and he would’ve driven back to 1955 and made out with Marty McFly’s mom, which I’m pretty sure he did in 1955.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I think this is the year to bring that tradition back (Back to the Future)

The early voting results are in and on Saturday, Nickelodeon announced the winner of its Kids Pick the President initiative. This is an event where school kids vote, and the majority were overwhelmingly for Hillary Clinton. Nickelodeon may have voted for Hillary, but we need to find out what Cartoon Network and the Disney Channel say before we can call it a lock. –James Corden

Tomorrow we will elect either Biff from “Back to the Future” or one of the robots from “Westworld.” You will decide. –Jimmy Kimmel

There used to be a tradition of heavy drinking on Election Day. People used to get drunk like St. Patrick’s Day, then they passed all sorts of laws to prevent that from happening. I think this is the year to bring that tradition back. –Jimmy Kimmel

Trump's only hope is that Michael J. Fox shows up in a time machine (run for Pope)

Trump needed a strong performance in the debate. His poll numbers have been dropping, and after last night, his only hope is that Michael J. Fox shows up in a time machine. –Jimmy Kimmel

Clinton and Trump are at a dinner together, the Al Smith Dinner, a charity event thrown annually by the Catholic Archdiocese of New York. It has become a tradition for the candidates to show up and tell jokes, like a roast. Tonight Hillary and Donald are one seat apart with Cardinal Timothy Dolan sitting between them, like an unhappy couple hoping to get their marriage annulled. –Jimmy Kimmel

Donald Trump is not a self-deprecating guy. A lot of people believe the reason he got into politics is because President Obama roasted him at the White House Correspondents Dinner. If the cardinal starts making fun of him, he might try to run for Pope. –Jimmy Kimmel

Cubs fans haven’t been this disappointed since every moment of their lives

The Cubs are on the verge of being eliminated from the National League playoffs. Cubs fans haven’t been this disappointed since every moment of their lives. –Conan O’Brien

Today is "Back to the Future" Day. It’s the day Marty McFly traveled forward in time only to find out the most important thing to people in 2015 is movies from the '80s. –Conan O’Brien

Joe Biden announced he is not running for president. And so, as promised, Hillary Clinton immediately released his dog. –Conan O’Brien