In his defense, there's not a lot to do in Idaho (Try Finding Nemo Now)

"Because of the success of 'Toy Story 3,' Pixar is now rushing ahead with its plans to do a sequel to one of its most popular movies, presented by BP. It's BP presents 'Try Finding Nemo Now.'" –Jay Leno

"Now that the Supreme Court has overturned the Defense of Marriage Act, this ruling means California gay guys can finally marry someone other than Liza Minnelli." –Jay Leno

"Idaho state senator and former Republican legislator of the year, John McGee, is charged with drunk driving and suspicion of felony grand theft after reportedly stealing an SUV with a 20-foot trailer attached to it. In his defense, there's not a lot to do in Idaho." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Of course, there was Bert's sham marriage to Liza Minnelli (Dick Cheney 2028)

Yesterday a spokesperson for "Sesame Street" said that Bert and Ernie do not, I repeat, do not have a sexual orientation. A spokesperson then added, "But Big Bird is really into Asian chicks." This is because a writer on "Sesame Street" earlier in the week claimed that Bert and Ernie are gay. I always thought it was pretty obvious that Bert and Ernie were gay. Especially based on some of the appearances they have made over the years. For example, they were guest judges on "RuPaul's Drag Race." They hosted an annual summer solstice party on Fire Island. They officiated Neil Patrick Harris' wedding. Of course, there was Bert's sham marriage to Liza Minnelli. --Conan O’Brien

"Some Republicans are saying they want Dick Cheney, that's right, Dick Cheney, to run for president in 2012. Of course, you have to remember that when they said this, Cheney was torturing them." --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It is the only place in the world where robbers get to keep the money (They get the wage and give us the minimum)

"Just one week after coming back to work, Congress took the day off today to watch this BCS football game tonight. Remember Congress promised us a five-day work week. It didn't even last a week. That's why they want to raise the minimum wage. They get the wage and give us the minimum." --Jay Leno

"Tom DeLay will still get to collect over a million dollars in congressional pension money. This is what's so great about Congress. It is the only place in the world where robbers get to keep the money." --Jay Leno

"Now that the Supreme Court has overturned the Defense of Marriage Act, this ruling means California gay guys can finally marry someone other than Liza Minnelli." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Meeting you would be the top thing on my bucket list (What could possibly go right?)

March 2023

“Former president Trump is releasing a book called "Letters to Trump" that's made up of 150 private letters sent to him by big-name celebrities like Oprah, the Clintons, and Liza Minnelli. It's kind of strange. Trump is bragging like, ‘Look at all the friends I used to have.’ Yep, the first five letters are from celebrities, the rest are just fan mail from Scott Baio. If the book does well, the next volume will be a collection of his favorite subpoenas.” —Jimmy Fallon

“I would like to see the letters that Trump wrote. It's like, ‘My dearest Colonel Sanders, I can't wait to meet you. Meeting you would be the top thing on my bucket list.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Did you guys see this? The WWE is in talks with multiple states about legalizing betting on scripted matches. Yep, betting on scripted matches. What could possibly go right?” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Oh, he's still going to attack, he just has no plans (More bad news for Dick Cheney)

 

 "According to a Finnish medical study, if you have a bad or incompetent boss, it increases your risk of a heart attack by 30%. More bad news for Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno

"Kind of a scary incident in the Straits of Hormuz this week. Do you know about this, where those Iranian boats threatened our navy? President Bush said today he has no plans to attack Iran. Oh, he's still going to attack, he just has no plans." --Jay Leno

"It looks like there's a little more fudging of Hillary's records. Remember when she said she was deeply involved in the Irish Peace Process? Turns out, she just saw 'Lord of the Dance.'" --Jay Leno

"Now that the Supreme Court has overturned the Defense of Marriage Act, this ruling means California gay guys can finally marry someone other than Liza Minnelli." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

If you act now, he'll throw in a free prayer rug (Do you feel what I feel?)

"Senator Larry Craig gave a press conference today where he said, I'm not gay, I've never been that way. Then he apologized to his wife, Liza Minnelli." --Jay Leno

"A group of TSA workers at LAX airport have formed a choir to sing to passengers. That's just what you want, a guy with his hands down your pants going, 'Do you feel what I feel?'" –Jay Leno

"President Bush introduced former Fox broadcaster Tony Snow as the new White House Press Secretary. See, this is the perfect example of wasteful government spending. I mean, why is the president paying someone to join his staff and tow the party line when he was doing it on Fox News for free?" --Jay Leno

 

"In political news, Vice President Dick Cheney is very upset about the way General Petraeus has been treated by the Democrats. Vice President Cheney said it is horrible that people mock and insult a soldier. I'll be sure to pass that on to John Kerry when I see him." --Jay Leno

"In this new video, Osama bin Laden makes a pitch to America by attacking the Democrats. And then he says we should all convert to Islam 'cause there are no taxes. He's now running third in Iowa. Is it me or is bin Laden getting more Western in these videos? Like in this new one where he wants us to convert to Islam, he says if you act now, he'll throw in a free prayer rug." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

If you convert to Islam he'll throw in a free prayer rug (Do you feel what I feel?)

"A group of TSA workers at LAX airport have formed a choir to

sing to passengers. That's just what you want, a guy with his

hands down your pants going, 'Do you feel what I feel?'"

–Jay Leno

"Senator Larry Craig gave a press conference today where he said, I'm not gay, I've never been that way. Then he apologized to his wife, Liza Minnelli." --Jay Leno

"President Bush introduced former Fox broadcaster Tony Snow as the new White House Press Secretary. See, this is the perfect example of wasteful government spending. I mean, why is the president paying someone to join his staff and tow the party line when he was doing it on Fox News for free?" --Jay Leno

 

"In political news, Vice President Dick Cheney is very upset about the way General Petraeus has been treated by the Democrats. Vice President Cheney said it is horrible that people mock and insult a soldier. I'll be sure to pass that on to John Kerry when I see him." --Jay Leno

"In this new video, Osama bin Laden makes a pitch to America by attacking the Democrats. And then he says we should all convert to Islam 'cause there are no taxes. He's now running third in Iowa. Is it me or is bin Laden getting more Western in these videos? Like in this new one where he wants us to convert to Islam, he says if you act now, he'll throw in a free prayer rug." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

if you act now, he'll throw in a free prayer rug (Do you feel what I feel?)

"Congress has voted to extend the Bush tax cuts. Is it me, or is

George W. Bush getting more done now than when he was in

office?" –Jay Leno

"A group of TSA workers at LAX airport have formed a choir

to sing to passengers. That's just what you want, a guy with

his hands down your pants going, 'Do you feel what I feel?'"

–Jay Leno

"Senator Craig gave a press conference today where he said,

I'm not gay, I've never been that way. Then he apologized to

his wife, Liza Minnelli." --Jay Leno

"President Bush introduced former Fox broadcaster Tony

Snow as the new White House Press Secretary. See, this

is the perfect example of wasteful government spending.

I mean, why is the president paying someone to join his

staff and tow the party line when he was doing it on

Fox News for free?" --Jay Leno

 

"In political news, Vice President Dick Cheney is very

upset about the way General Petraeus has been treated

by the Democrats. Vice President Cheney said it is horrible

that people mock and insult a soldier. I'll be sure to pass

that on to John Kerry when I see him." --Jay Leno

"In this new video, Osama bin Laden makes a pitch to

America by attacking the Democrats. And then he says

we should all convert to Islam 'cause there are no taxes.

He's now running third in Iowa. Is it me or is bin Laden

getting more Western in these videos? Like in this new

one where he wants us to convert to Islam, he says if

you act now, he'll throw in a free prayer rug." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

this ruling means California gay guys can finally marry someone other than Liza Minnelli (swayed by that Liberace movie)

June 2013

"Yesterday, the Supreme Court opened the door for same-sex marriage to resume in California. Apparently, the judges were really swayed by that Liberace movie." –Jay Leno

"Now that the Supreme Court has overturned the Defense of Marriage Act, this ruling means California gay guys can finally marry someone other than Liza Minnelli." –Jay Leno

"The Girl Scouts announced that their pension plan has a $347 million deficit. The Girl Scouts are $347 million in debt so in addition to teaching girls about camping it also is preparing them for careers in government." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Some of my best friends' gardeners are middle class (and he was briefly married to Liza Minnelli)

May 2012

"Scientists at NASA say the asteroids are dangerously aligned with the earth's orbit and are large enough to enter our atmosphere without breaking apart. But they also say we shouldn't panic. You know, if you didn't want us to panic, maybe you shouldn't have put out a press release saying there were 4,700 asteroids hurtling toward the earth." –Jimmy Kimmel

"During a speech in Ohio, Joe Biden criticized Republicans for not understanding the middle class. In response, Mitt Romney was like, 'That's ridiculous. Some of my best friends' gardeners are middle class." –Jimmy Fallon

"Newsweek magazine has President Obama on the cover this week, calling him the first gay president. Actually, that's not true. Historians say that James Buchanan was probably our first gay president. He was a bachelor, he lived for 15 years with an Alabama senator, and he was briefly married to Liza Minnelli." –Jay Leno

"JPMorgan lost $3 billion in their first quarter and today they lost yet another $1 billion. Turns out they bet on the Lakers. I don't know what JPMorgan is doing. They announced today they are moving their entire headquarters to Greece." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We've been brutalizing and stealing from Native Americans for more than 500 years (depending on whether they did it with the lights on)

President Bush is putting together his new cabinet. It is reported that President Bush has selected Alberto Gonzales to be his new attorney general. Alberto Gonzales. There was one awkward moment when Bush asked if he was related to Speedy Gonzalez. --Conan O’Brien 11/11/2004

Liza Minnelli is being sued by her former bodyguard who claims Liza forced him to have sex with her. Liza could face a small fine or major prison time depending on whether they did it with the lights on. --Conan O’Brien 11/11/2004

President Bush is back on the campaign trail today. He stopped off in Pennsylvania which he's already visited 34 times. You can tell he's been there a lot because instead of chanting four more years the crowd chanted, “Go somewhere else!” --Conan O’Brien 9/3/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Of course, there was Bert's sham marriage to Liza Minnelli (We Only Preach Them)

Yesterday a spokesperson for "Sesame Street" said that Bert and Ernie do not, I repeat, do not have a sexual orientation. A spokesperson then added, "But Big Bird is really into Asian chicks." This is because a writer on "Sesame Street" earlier in the week claimed that Bert and Ernie are gay. I always thought it was pretty obvious that Bert and Ernie were gay. Especially based on some of the appearances they have made over the years. For example, they were guest judges on "RuPaul's Drag Race." They hosted an annual summer solstice party on Fire Island. They officiated Neil Patrick Harris' wedding. Of course, there was Bert's sham marriage to Liza Minnelli. --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Then he apologized to his wife, Liza Minnelli (Lenny Bruce, prophet)

"Senator Larry Craig gave a press conference today where he said, I'm not gay, I've never been that way. Then he apologized to his wife, Liza Minnelli." --Jay Leno

"There's another scandal in Washington. One of the senator's from Idaho, Larry Craig, was arrested in airport men's room. Gives new meaning to the word 'caucusing.'" --David Letterman

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

I'm tired of this, I'd rather be governor (sending the wrong message)

"The Federal Trade Commission said today they did not find any signs, no signs that the oil industry illegally manipulated gas prices. They also found no signs of steroid use in baseball, there was no gang activity in Los Angeles and Kenny Rogers had no plastic surgery whatsoever." --Jay Leno

"Let's see what's new with New Jersey Governor Jim 'Keep On Truckin' McGreevy. Former New Jersey Governor  Jim McGreevy has written a book where he said he used to cruise highway rest stops looking to have anonymous sex with gay truckers. At what point do you stop having anonymous sex at truck stops and say to yourself I'm tired of this, I'd rather be governor?" --Jay Leno

"McGreevy said he came out of the closet when he realized where this sort of lifestyle would lead -- marriage to Liza Minelli." --Jay Leno

gays would not be allowed to marry unless one of the parties was Liza Minnelli (Bush=0)

"President Bush calling for a constitutional amendment against gay marriage. He says he wants to put both Al Qaeda and IKEA out of business. Apparently, it's a pretty strict ruling, too. Under this constitutional amendment, gays would not be allowed to marry unless one of the parties was Liza Minnelli." --Jay Leno

On Bush supporting a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage in the 2004 election: "Ah, a constitutional process to ban gay marriage. And yet that was the only time he mentioned it until now. It's as though marriage in our country is only threatened during even numbered years. It's the cultural version of raising the terror alert. All I can say is, as election day gets closer, I would not be surprised to see a large suicide c*ck threatening Manhattan." --Jon Stewart

George Bush, "America is a free society, which limits the role of government in the lives of our citizens. In this country, people are free to choose how they live their lives." Jon Stewart: "And that's why I want to ban gay people from getting married."

She called for a full scale invasion of Cognito!

"Now that the Supreme Court has overturned the Defense of Marriage Act, this ruling means California gay guys can finally marry someone other than Liza Minnelli." –Jay Leno 

"It's gay pride week here in New York City. Here's how you can tell. The construction workers are hooting at EACH OTHER." –David Letterman 

"That Edward Snowden dude got out of Hong Kong, flew to Russia, has been in the Russian airport the whole week, but still no one can find him. When Sarah Palin today heard that he may be incognito, she called for a full scale invasion of Cognito." –Bill Maher